The Wonderful World of AL

Ack - too warm.

2005-11-02T17:02:00.000+11:00

It's 35 degrees (celcius), humid as FUCK, and I'm finding it aboslutely impossible to sleep in such conditions. To make matters worse, the nearest beach is 40 minutes drive away, and even if I were to make it there, the beach itself sucks, with a much higher chance of getting sandburn and bitten by something, than being able to relax and sunbake. I'm usually a big fan of insanely hot weather, but at the moment, due to the fact that I cannot seem to keep my own apartment humid-free and cool, it's SO not good.

The good thing I look forward to about Summer comming up, is the fact that Melbourne seems to throw some fucking awesome dance parties, ya know, those big outdoor festivals where thousands of people turn up, get off their faces and pick up several people each day? Ah such memories.

Luv AL,
x0x0x

After a long break...

2005-11-01T16:42:00.000+11:00

I think the word LAZY would be an understatement when it comes to me and my Blog as of late... oh well. I keep MEANING to write stuff, but I never get around to it... coz I'm usually, um... busy...

So get this. Last night, just as I was falling asleep, my bedroom door blows open. I get up, and check the house for any open windows, and guess what? There aren't any. To top it all off, my loungeroom was deathly cold. It was somewhat freaky.

I have a new song on the brain at the mo. It's called "Let's Get Down" by Supafly. It reminds me of one of those Funkmaster Deluxe remixes of Bob Marley that came out in the late 90's. I recommend you guys get out there and listen to it...

I went to the local show on the weekend. I went on this awesome ride called the Mega Drop, hich lifts you up to a height of 45 metres, then drops you, freefalling back down to the ground, at about 150km/h, in 2 seconds. One cannot describe the feeling I got in my stomach - I'm surprised I didn't die, and I'd had about 5 joints before my mate Skot dragged me onto the thing. I also went on the Zipper, pictured right.I severly recommend it if you've ever been curious on what it would be like to die in a violent way.

On the Love Front - well, there's nothing. Not about love anyway. Flings and rampant sex are consistent, but the prospect of meeting anyone relatively interesting is dismal. Damn country towns. Always full of losers, stuck up biartches, or "no more than a friend" types. Oh well...

Catchya.
AL
xoxox

Yes, well... Um...

2005-10-12T12:56:00.000+10:00

Be Agressive, B E Agressive...

Well, I haven't been as agressive, more so a cruel heartless bastard. But you have to be when it comes to culling off friends that you don't really need. Yes, over the past week I've dropped atleast 10 friends, who inadvertantly weren't friends at all - just big pathetic backstabbing losers who weren't worth my time. And they all got what was comming to them - a big slice of verbal home truths about how they really come across to others in the real world. 2 of them I reduced to tears, but it's their own damned fault. And for some reason, I fell positively fantastic now that I've rid myself of such patheticness.

Moving on...
If I eat foods secifically prepared for pregnant women, will I gain weight, as I am eating for two?

Cya!
AL
xoxox

I'm Back!

2005-10-04T13:06:00.000+10:00

Life is good.
Very good infact.

You must excuse me for taking so long to blog again, but I've been very busy. Busy entertaining, busy working, busy learning new things.

Life has taken an unexpected turn for the better. My luck has been, so far, outstanding. And even more surprisingly, looking for love has taken the backseat at the momment, because let's face it - what sort of 23 year old batchelor is looking for commitment eh? Not me.
I've taken up a martial art that's NOT Tae Kwon Do or Karate - and I'll leave it at that. Not in the mood for divulging information about what fighting style I'm learning at the mo - a little bit of secrecy is needed, just incase I ever have to use it for real.
I'm in a new apartment - much smaller than my old one. Very central to the CBD, and loving every minute of it. Only a 2 minute walk to Macca's - how convenient for those hungover Sunday mornings when I crave take-away!
Sex-wise... well, I haven't had a booked out previous two weeks, but my weekends have been full of lovely surprises here and there. I've more been entertaining people in general - ie, throwing movie nights, dinner parties - ya know, the more social of events. Over the last few months I've found that I'd distanced myself from alot of people, because I'd had so much on my mind. Now however, with all the bad shit gone, I'm a more stress-free AL, which in turn means for ALOT more outrageous posts here in the near future.

Luv Ya'll
AL
xoxox

...

2005-09-27T14:00:00.000+10:00

Very busy.
Will Blog tomorrow.
Soz for the wait.

AL
xoxox

w T f ?

2005-09-16T11:15:00.000+10:00

*written under the chilled influences of Mr Green Jeans*

Dear AL,
Guess what? You're fucked and writing a letter to yourself! I forget how much I've had to drink, and smoke, combined, but it doesn't matter because I can't be fucked explaining it! I'm happy, because I'm stoned... but anyway... I feel like listening to the pounding sound of deep trance music at a hugely insane volume, preferably in a nightclub that's lit in nothing but red and orange, like a deep cavern inside a volcano, with the dancefloor re-created as Hell - the only difference being that THIS Hell wouldn't be a place of... what the fuck am I on about? Do I give a shit? No. Fuck I ramble on when I smoke the green. It's boring here. And early. Way earlier than I originally thought. I have cravings. Cravings for Cheetos... mmmmmm, Cheetos.

argh

2005-09-12T16:49:00.000+10:00

Gone is the warm weather everyone associates with the Spring Season. It's fucking cold, my hands are going grey... more to the point, they're going numb, and my happiness has been vapourized by the typhoon-ish like winds that threaten to destroy any plans I had of throwing a barbeque this evening.

I went out to the local nightclub on Saturday. It was... well, I don't really remember. I can recall me taking on a dare to pick up some chick, and succeeding right up to the point where she asked me back to her place, to which I told her that, because she had boobs and a vagina, I wouldn't sleep with her, and thus she rewarded me with a slap in the face insisting that "I led her on", despite the fact that EVERYONE knows I'm gay. Ontop of that, I got a phone call the next day from the mate I went out with, claiming that he'd just gotten back from the hospital because he got "attacked" by 7 people after he went ballistic when they called him a faggot. Why can't people just take constructive criticism on a positive note? My mate's been in denial about his sexuality for the last, ooh, entirety of his life. I told him "dude, you admit to people when you're drunk that you like it up the ass - deal with the aftermath and stop complaining to me", to which he hung up. God some people are demanding.

11

2005-09-11T22:59:00.000+10:00

To this day, I still cannot find the words to describe exactly how I felt emotionally when I sat, glued to the television for 10 hours straight, on September 11, 2001. 4 years on, Australian "free-to-air" television airs a no-more-than-3-minute news report about rememberance services, before switching back to the cricket coverage. I don't forget it because I can't. Today I flew the American flag outside my house as a tribute.

Fake Endings...

2005-09-08T14:02:00.000+10:00

Over the past 2 years, I've had numerous Blogs. Mostly filled with bitchiness, random ramblings, the highs and the lows. The templates have constantly changed to suit my mood, and although I'm happy with the way the page LOOKS now, I've grown exceedingly bored with it, and have decided to put and end to it. I'd like to thank everyone who has been supportive, and left loving, friendly, and sometimes weird and wacky comments to what I've written. Hopefully we'll all catch up soon...
... or I could be just bullshittin' ya'll, which I most definetly am.

Whilst browsing randomly through the millions upon millions of sites on the contraption that people call the World Wide Web, I came across some construction photo's of the new Superman rollercoaster they're building at WB Movie World on the Gold Coast, Australia. Do my eyes decieve me, or is this country finally getting a thrill ride it deserves? Will AL finally have a reason to head up north now? All signs point to yes...

Catch!
xoxox

Optimism

2005-09-07T10:49:00.000+10:00

Last weekend, one of my mates stupidly let Jehovah's Witnesses into my flat because he was stoned and didn't know what he was doing... I love the predicaments my mates put me in sometimes.

It's warm. Sun is out. I have "It's My Life" by No Doubt playing on stereo within my head. I feel optimistic, and happy. I've just been to an appointment with my shrink, and since leaving, I've felt ontop of the world. I've realised that there are some things in this world that are just not worth bothering about anymore. I've put so much time and energy into trying to fix relationships with people I disagree with, when I should be focusing more on what is TO come, rather than what is in the past. Today, my past died. Every. Single. Shred of it. If it's somebody's aim out there to bring me down, to hurt or upset me, or to make me feel less worthy of a person, then they can go screw themselves, literally. Why I chose to stay attached to people with such ugly qualities is beyond me.

Being in an exceptional mood has also prompted me to post a pic of the hottest man in tennis, Andy Roddick.

Catchya!
xoxox

Good Days

2005-09-05T12:47:00.000+10:00

If quitter's never win, and winner's never quit, who the fuck came up with the saying "Quit While You're Ahead"?

I got completely trashed on Saturday, and woke up with absolutely NO hangover on Sunday morning. I always know I'm gonna have a good day when that happens, and yesterday I was right. I think today will be a good day too.
I just have that feeling...

Tele-Harrassment

2005-09-03T11:09:00.000+10:00

Last night I recieved 4 phone calls from telemarketers in the space of ONE HOUR. Now, the last time I checked, my landline phone number was silent, so I'm curious as to HOW these companies are able to get my number, and then feel the need to invade my privacy with a bombardment of almost harrassing survey calls. I wouldn't be complaining so much if the operators were nice, and accepted the fact that I don't want to switch phone rental companies, or buy a new vaccuum cleaner - but they're not. Recently, I recieved a call from a poverty-aid charity (which will remain un-named). I told them that I was already a member of World Vision and I've been sponsoring a child for the last 2 years, and they start giving me a lecture pretty much, on how my money could be better spent with them. Naturally, I hung up, but not before giving them an earful of my frustration and anger.

On a more calmer topic, I'm starting up a dream journal. NOT an online one - a written one, to record all my wacky and insane dreams that I keep having. Most people keep dream journals to record dream patterns, and try to determine whether they mean anything or not. My dreams couldn't mean much. Last night I dreamt of driving a HumV along the railroad tracks, and crashing into a cactus, which inevitably came to life and started chasing me waving a knife in the air. I'm keeping the journal purely for entertainment, so that when I'm old and suffering from amnesia due to all the drugs I took when I was younger, I'll have a book full of twisted sub-concious memories that I can show all my friends, before they commit me into a mental institution.

And to top this entry off, I'd like to re-driect you to Dajoro's blog, for THIS interesting little news item. I'm sure you'll all find it very pathetic...
That aside, my heart goes out to all that have lost loved ones in the Hurricane Katrina aftermath. I'll be donating $100 today through the Red Cross.

Labels

2005-09-02T14:53:00.000+10:00

Last night me and B were involved... in a conversation that is. We talked about our experiences when it comes to meeting other gay guys, and what sort of personalities we get along with best...
I am YET to meet somebody I "click" with. I'm finding it slightly frustrating, searching for someone who isn't Kylie or Madonna's biggest fan. Someone who'd prefer a beer and a game of pool, over frequenting the gay club scene ritualistically every goddamn weekend. Someone who sits on the very edge of the gay cliche - someone who's outrageous and fun, but acts like a man, not a character from Sex and the City...
I'm starting to find myself becoming more and more reserved when I meet people. Instead of being my true self, I find myself trying to fit in the with flamboyancy that constantly surrounds me.

Alot of people say that I'm "straight acting", but I hardly see how people can put one another in categories defined by sexual orientation. I mean, there are millions upon millions of heterosexual guys out there - each with their own unique character traits and personalities - so to put all of them in ONE social group because they all share a taste in women is extremely ignorant of someone's true character. In MY opinion, there is no such thing as straight OR gay acting - there's only individuality. Yeah, some people do share similar characteristics, but they're maintained by each person's individual sense of style and being.
I'm sexually attracted to men, yet because I'm not shouting it out to the world every time I'm around people, I'm labelled as "straight acting". Sexuality is a personal thing to me. I'm not acting like I'm not gay - I'm acting like myself.

Ramblings in Color

2005-08-31T14:05:00.000+10:00

"He does dress better than I do, what would I bring to the relationship?" - Cher, from Clueless.

Today is "curl-up-infront-of-the-TV-and-watch-hilarious-movies" day, due to the nasty weather. It COULD'VE been "stay-in-bed-and-have-awesome-sex" day, but alas, I have nobody to share that experience with, and I doubt I could get the same satisfaction using "Mr Palmer and his five sons".

It's only Wednesday (I think), but I'm already looking forward to the weekend. It turns out I am NOT going to another gay club, where, as a friend of mine says, the music is "vomitus Top 40". No, I'll most likely be heading to a place called Sin Bin - a hardcore ravers paradise. Go me.

Meet my "new-if-it-doesn't-sellout-before-I-get-my-hands-on-it" addition to my CD collection. My music tastes have returned back to their roots, and I'm once again romatically involved with my love of Hard Dance.
Fuck all that bullshit filtered commercial house shit that's clogging the radio ateries left right and center. I've always liked to listen to toonz which get the pulse going. Toonz that relatively nobody else has even heard of. Toonz that that work harmoniously well with several E's...

Yeah, I've had enough rambling...
Luv Ya'll
xoxox

The Pre-Planned Bender

2005-08-30T11:22:00.000+10:00

10 Minutes ago it was warm and humid. Now it's blowing a gale outside, and my poor little body cannot withstand against such forceful winds. I fear that if I don't hold onto something, I'll get swept away...

I'm planning a new "health kick" starting from next week. Eating better, excercising more, and keeping myself active and busy. Mentally, I think I really need to let go of the past. Yeah I fucked up. Big deal. That was like 2 years ago. Instead of worrying what people think of me, I need to fill my mind up with happy stuff, such as fairy floss and puppies.

Before then, however, I've been invited to the city on Saturday for a nightclub opening, which should be fun. Plan of attack? The usual: down about 3 martini's to get me in "the mood", and then gorge on the free beer and champers until I feel ultimately ill, making passes at cute guys only to turn them down when they return the favor, and then stumbling back to my hotel room where I pass out for 10 hours straight, missing my checkout time and thus paying the extra fee to stay longer which will inevitabley annoy the shit out of me, which'll be the perfect mood to travel home in.

Luv Ya'll
xoxox

Flava of the Month

2005-08-29T16:12:00.000+10:00

The ever so under-rated Ron Livingston.

Some people have said I have weird tastes in men, but I reckon ^he seems so huggable.

Mmm, warm...

2005-08-27T13:45:00.000+10:00

I feel slightly vulnerable today. I opened up about some true feelings to somebody I don't even know, trying to get a point of view across. I wish there was a way to stop emails from sending...

It's fantastically warm! YAY! Spring is comming, and the weather seems to have lifted, meaning it's soon BEACH WEATHER. I'll have to get myself into shape again, as sitting next to the heater 24/7, eating spare-ribs every second day, for the majority of winter has not done my figure any favors... OMG, I'm speaking female talk... *gasps*

I gave up smoking at 9am thismorning. I've only had 5 ciggies since then... Maybe the weekend wasn't such a good time to start!

Cya!
xoxox

Over It!

2005-08-26T12:17:00.000+10:00

About my ramblings in my last post - I'm over it all.
After wallowing around in my own turbulent storm of misery which I'd worked myself into, I finally discovered that if I actually got up and did something about certain issues that make me feel upset, instead of moping around and whingeing, then I may just actually get back to my happy state of mind. Thanx for the comment though Des.Angel - that was really cool - just what I needed to hear. AND Jason - well... I guess you could've been alot more harsh with your words. I won't go as far as to thank you, but I will give you a big *two thumbs up*...

I'm in talks with people about starting up a Gay Alliance project within the area, for people aged 21 and over. Turns out that the Freedom Group is mainly aimed at teenagers - how dumb am I?!?. I'm sorry if I managed to piss anyone off with my last post about it.
Anyhoo - back to my project - yes, in talks, in deep discussive talks. If I fear becoming lonely, then I should do something about it, and I think that reaching out and helping other struggling GLB&T people would be fairly beneficial, and I'd be doing something good for the community. Ontop of THAT, I'm also in talks about holding an Art Exhibition at the local gallery themed on "Sexuality" - not just aimed at the gay community, but to anyone that's interested. I reckon it'd be a great success, even if it were only attended by 16 year old school boys hoping to catch a glimpse of boobs or something!

I'm happy again! It seems I've conquered another hill on my rollercoaster, thank fuck. I hate being shitty, because I tend to take every little thing so personally. I have to learn to manage my feelings better. I'm an emotional guy, though I fucking hate to admit it, and sometimes I let the stupidest of things bring me down.
ALSO, thankyou Scott for calling me the other night - you cheered me up immensely!

Catch!
XOXOX

Issues.

2005-08-25T15:28:00.000+10:00

I have issues with being gay which I haven't voiced to anyone yet. I have questions. I want to discuss things with similar people around my own age. I want to get some things off my chest, otherwise I'll start choking in all this built-up frustration.
I've basically been shunned from the Gay community where I live, because my ex-boyfriend, of whom I broke up with OVER a year & a half ago, feels the needs to voice his extreme dislike for me to everyone who knows me. He treats me like I'm an outcast. Yet, he's part of a Gay Support Group who's aim is to abolish discrimination amongst the GLBT society.

I personally would LOVE to show up to one of their meetings. I'd like to see what I'd get out of it, and how I could help others. Unfortunately, I'm not allowed, because my ex doesn't want me there. I don't have many gay friends in the area because of my supposed "bad reputation" - the majority of this so-called reputatation made up of malicious rumors all mashed together from vaious sources. I've been made to feel like an outcast within, and out of Gay society. Nobody offers to help me. Nobody seems to care if I MYSELF have a problem - if that happens, people turn a blind eye, even the people I'd consider close to me.

I'm lonely. Extremely lonely, and I just want out of all this shit.

but Seriously...

2005-08-24T16:32:00.000+10:00

Today I feel diplomatic - more so, I feel the need to write my opinions, about a certain issue, on paper, and send them off to a particular person, who, upon reading my thoughts and ideas about a certain situation that's pissing me off immensely, will hopefully do or say something contrsuctive about what I have to say... (that's my description without going into detail)

Over the past couple of days, I have totally wound down and relaxed. I don't feel as rushed anymore, even though I'm doing exactly what I was doing a month ago, when I was severly stressed out. I've learned to chill out, and not take things so seriously - "things" being everything. Personally, whatever anyone else thinks, I'm moving forward with my life, and I'm happy about my progress. If people are gossiping about me, or people are generall being nasty and cold hearted towards me - that's their problem. I'm having an "I don't care about anyone else but myself, plus a few extra people" week.
I've always been a caring person, and I'm not saying that'll change, but I've got to start caring less about the people who don't make an effort themselves - and that's a FAIR few of the people I know. I don't like ditching friends, but seriously, some of them are making me feel weighed down with their constant drama-filled lives, and it's annoying, to be blunt. I don't like being annoyed. Something has to be done.

Thinking Ahead

2005-08-23T09:32:00.000+10:00

I'm happily chilled out today. After last night's incredibly well needed sleep (where I dreamt about going and partying mind you), I feel refreshed, egergized and sounding like I'm advertising a sports drink of some kind...

*dances around in circles - not of the insane variety*

I finished building my insanely huge canvas for my major peice last night. It's made up of 3 panels, that when put together, form one giant peice that measures 3 x 3.5 metres. I'm gonna make the most of my Art studies, as next year I'll be moving into... wait for it, Criminal Law. It's been something that has always intrigued me for many years, but's been pushed aside into the depths of my mind to let my artistic, creative side through. I think it's had a fair go - and let's be honest, a Visual Arts Degree ain't gonna get me very far. I need to put my thinking-side to good use, and Law is my first and only choice. So yeah - it'll mean a LONG time back at Uni, but I'm looking forward to it.

I'm still comming down from the weekend, slightly. Not from the amount of alcohol I downed in such a short period, but the general atmosphere of the night out. I met quite alot of people, the majority of them being really nice people, that I'm hoping to catch up with again very soon. I found a way to cope with the filtered-through-filtered house music, and even picked up a few, now favorite, toonz along the way. I'm still a Hard Trance/Hard House guy all the way, but sometimes it's good to get out of my comfort zone - which, in doing so, has made me realize that gay nightclubs are actually quite fun, since it's much easier to pick up - no second guessing whether someone likes meat or fish - where convenient.

This is AL comming to you LIVE from... well... home.
xoxox

Monday's & Music

2005-08-22T09:15:00.000+10:00

I woke up thismorning and a fear of absolute dread swept over me. It was Monday morning.
Usually, for me, Monday is the day where I have to shrugs off any kind of fun that I had over the previous two days, and get myself back to reality. The songs that had been swimming around in my head have been replaced with my demanding thoughts of what I need to do in terrms of chores and work and study and everything else that ranks below 5 on the fun-o-metre. The socializing and meeting of new people has been replaced with seeing the same old people every day - which doesn't faze me that much as my mates have totally awesome personalities, but it's known that I do thrive on introducing myself to as many people as possible. Now all I have to do is get through this hectic week, with the knowledge that the weekend is only 5 measly days away...

I'm gettin' into some new toonz -
"One Word" by Kelly Ozbourne has become somewhat infectious, and I find myself requesting it at clubs (the remix's of course). I'm not a big fan of her normally, or her idiotic family, but she's managed to pull the rabbit outta the hat with this track. I don't think it was something any of us expected, and if this song sets the tone for her album, then I may just consider buying it.
"Paris to Berlin" by Infernal is my token scene choon for this month. Originally, I heard it on the Wild Nights 3 compilation, and I didn't think that much of it cuz it was a bit too "flambouyantly produced". However, after hearing it at 3am at Peel, with the bass pumped up to the max, whilst surrounded by cute boi's dancin' their rump's off, I've changed my mind. A fun track.
"Only U" by Ashanti is a wicked song to grind to. The backbeat is almost grinding, and very raw, while Ash's vocals are spine-tingling as they weave over the top of this brilliantly cut track. A must for any party actually worth attending.
"We Belong Together" by Mariah Carey is one of those classic "love songs" that seems to have sucked me in big time. Unlike her exceedingly boring first release, she seems to have raised the bar completely, by givin' us some of that old-skool Mariah-style, fused with modern sounds of crunk R'n'B. Very cool.
Rotten Egg of the Month:
Any song released by Eminem. He had his 15 minutes of fame children, now please send him back to his trailer-trash lifestyle where he so OBVIOUSLY belongs.

Catchya!
XOXOX

stumbles around

2005-08-21T14:06:00.000+10:00

I'm still in the city - hungover as FUCK tho...
I spent the majority of ast night dancing my little ass off at The Peel Hotel, with an assortment of gorgeous eye candy. I met up with David, who reminds me of a guy Carrie dated on Sex and the City, and later on got all touchy-feely with a cute guy named Rupert (funky name!), so I had a marvelous time. NOW, however, my feet are feeling like they've been runover by a bus, several times. I always end up going home with some kind of injury or illness. Most of the time, it's a hangover that ranks 9.5 on the Alco-Scale - today, it's blisters on my feet from too much dancing/walking/god knows...
Anyhoo, before I start to ramble on too much, I'll leave you... leave you with the thought of what I might possibly be up to tonight.
Catchya'll - Love AL xoxox

Fri-daze...

2005-08-19T12:33:00.000+10:00

I'm in a surprisingly good mood once again. Maybe it has something to do with the fact it's not cold today. Maybe it has something to do with me looking forward to my clubbing adventure tomorrow. Just MAYBE it may have something to do with WHO I am meeting on this clubbing adventure...

"A Good Night Out" - Part One

2005-08-16T22:30:00.000+10:00

Warning: The following post contains, well, let's just say it contains text of a somewhat pornographic nature. If you're not too keen on this warning, then DON'T read on.

I took another swig of the insanely strong Vodka and Pepsi in my hand. I relcined back on the grassy hill which overlooked the city skyline, and waited. Usually, on a Saturday night, you'd find me inside a dark club, techono music blasting out of massive speakers, which overlook a sea of people dancing hypnotically with glowsticks. However, tonight, I'd chosen to break into the Royal Botanical Gardens with a close friend, and have a private drink together. It was one of my more spontaneous random ideas.
Justin came trudging down the hill. He sat beside me and we raised our glasses.
"To good mates, good sex, and a good night out", Justin toasted.
I had to admit, he looked absolutely gorgeous. I placed my hand on his thigh, as he slugged his arm around my waist.

We talked about tons of random stuff, but the majority of our conversation revolved around telling eachother of our sexual adventures. I started getting hard, and I didn't know how long I could last before I literally jumped the guy. I stood up to stretch my legs, and noticed my hard-on was visible, even through my baggy jeans. At that momment, I felt Justin's hands creep around my waist, and his cock pressing against my ass. I tilted my head back, and nuzzled it into his neck. He pulled me closer, and I turned around.

Pulling his sexy body towards me, I pressed my lips against his. My hand smoothed it's way around the base of his neck, as our groins bumped and rubbbed against each other. I felt my knees starting to collapse from excitement, so we knelt on the soft grass, with Justin straddling my waist, still entwined in our passionate kiss. I grabbed at his slender waist underneath his shirt, and rubbed my hand gently up his soft stomach. His skin was warm, yet Justin was trembling with anticipation of what I was to do next. He started to unbutton his shirt, but I made a reach for it and pulled it over his head in one go, eager to get my hands allover him. I pulled away from his tantalizing lips, and started to slowly drag my tongue down his neck, stopping only occasionally for a quick, playful bite, towards his erect nipples. He moaned as I flicked the tips of my tongue over them lightly, as I felt his hand now on the back of my head, guiding it down his torso. I ran my moist tongue into the groove of his bellybutton, my fingertips teasing him as I played with the waistline of his jeans. I couldn't hold off any longer.

He peeled off me completely, and sat on his knees infront of me, slowly undoing the button on his jeans. I leant forward, and tugged down his fly with my teeth. I could feel the heat from his thickening rod radiating on my face.
God this boy is hot, I thought, pulling his jeans down. I ran my fingertips over his cock, bulging through the thin white fabric of his jocks. I ran my lips over the outline of his balls, as I hungrily eased the waistband of his jocks down - his huge thick dick slapping my on my cheek. I reached my hands behind him, one on his lower back, the other gently massaging his smooth round ass cheeks. Pushing on his back, this thick rod, now smearing pre-cum allover my cheek, popped between my lips.
"Fuck yeah", hissed Justin, "Suck on that cock".
His dirty talk caused my own dick to throb in my pants. Slowly, I engulfed inch after inch of his pulsating tool between my lips, until my nose was buried in his soft pubes. I left it there for a few seconds, Justin buried to the hilt in my throat. Then, without warning, I pulled back up his shaft, rolling my tongue bolt over his cock head. I picked up a slow and staeady rythym, cupping his balls in one hand, the other cheekily teasing his ass hole, inserting a finger up there, causing his cock to swell even more. He started breathing heavily, as I joyously sucked on his pole, finger fucking him furiously.
"I'm gonna cum", said Justin, heaving.
I pulled my mouth off his stiff cock, moving my way back up to his sensitive nipples, my fingers still sliding in and out of his hole gently.

Meanwhile, I felt like I was gonna shoot my load at any momment. I pulled my t-shirt over my head, and my pants down, wrapping my hand around my throbbing tool and squeezing it gently. I was shivering, though not from coldness. I was the horniest I'd ever been, and looking forward to what was comming next.
Justn put his lips to mine once more, as he pushed me onto my back, our hands rubbing all over one another, and my cock grinding against his. I grabbed his ass, pulling his pelvis against mine. He took hold of my dick and started jacking me off. I wasn't ready to cum just yet.

"Hang on babe", I moaned.
He glanced at me with curiousity, awaiting an answer, but I just grinned back. I gave him a quick peck on the lips, and then trailed down his neck, planting soft kisses over his chest and down his stomach. Lifting his legs up, I placed my entire mouth over his swollen balls, and blew on them softly. I tickled his ass with my fingertips, my tongue now rolling over his balls, taking turns to suck on each of them, as I slowly make my way towards his ass. I stretch it open with my thumbs and kiss it. My lips dragging over his moist fuck-hole, I slip my tongue in as deep as it will go. My face was buried in his ass, as I thrusted my tongue in and out furiously. Justin was almost screaming in exstacy as I tongue fucked his butt for all I was worth. When I'd tasted my fill of his sweet ass juice, I pulled away, and placed my thick pole at the entrance of his hole.
I slowly pushed forward, and my cock head popped in, making him gasp. I made my way in gently, making sure he felt every inch of my dick fill his deep cavity. Once fully in, I reached down and started to stroke his quivering cock lightly. I pull my dick nearly free of his ass, and then quickly thrust it back in. With my hands holding onto his calves, his ankles now resting over my shoulders, I started drilling his hole with my stiff pole, my cock head brushing repeatedly over his prostate, making him grunt and moan in pleasure. I quickened my pace, pumping him without mercy. I watched as my cock slid in and out of his beautiful tight ass, as I grabbed his dick and started beating him off like a jackhammer.

"I'm...gonna...blow!", exclaimed Justin, as his ass started to spasm. His first shot hit me directly on the chest. I re-aimed his cock, and he started to shoot his thick salty cream allover my face and neck. I kept fucking him as he drenched me in his juice. He was moaning loudly, and I didn't care if anyone heard. I wanted the world to know how much he was getting his rocks off. It was too much for me to bear though, as I felt my own cock twitch, as I started to fill his ass with cum. I pulled out of his hole quickly, grasped my dick, and exploded allover Justin's chest. Spirt after spurt of my hot white cream plastered his body. When I was finally spent, I lay beside him, trailing my finger through my jizz on his stomach, whilst I licked his juice off my lips. I gazed into his gorgeous eyes, and kissed him, sharing his sweet juice with him.

We lay there for awhile, before cleaning ourselves off, and pulling our clothes back on.
I poured us each another vodka.
"To great sex", I toasted.
"To great sex", replied Justin, grinning from ear to ear.
Little did either of us know that this was only the beginning of a good night out.

To be continued...

intermission

2005-08-13T13:50:00.000+10:00

Your Aquarius Drinking Style

Aquarius and drinking don't go together that well (except for water, that is).
You have an innate tendency toward know-it-allism, and if you get an idea while sizzled, you're more stubborn than a stain or a stone.
If you're throwing a party or organizing an outing, however, you're too preoccupied with their duties to get combative -- and you make perfectly charming drunks in that case.

Fortunately, you're usually capital drink-nursers.
You also make the best-designated drivers (if people can get you before you start raising your wrist).
You are fascinated by drunken people and capable of holding interesting conversations with soused strangers while sober.

Your Signature Cocktails

Aquarius is likely to order stuff most people have never heard of: a capirinha, Satan's whiskers, a negroni, an Arthur Tompkins. You like to stump the bartender. This sign rules the color electric blue, and you would be pleased by any tipple featuring blue curacao. You also rule the olive tree, so pour the juice into that dirty martini.

Your Celebrity Drinking Buddies

Paris Hilton, Jennifer Aniston, Ellen DeGeneres, Dr. Dre, Ashton Kutcher, Christina Ricci, Justin Timberlake, and Elijah Wood.

What's Your Alcohoroscope?

!~~!~~! Ummm !~~!~~!

2005-08-04T14:50:00.000+10:00

Have you ever met somebody, whom you may become great friends with, or you may never see again in your life, yet you think about them atleast once every day?

I dunno why, but I feel offended and pushed away by someone close to me, over a situation of which I had no control over. I can't explain it too much without giving anything away, as I'm not sure whether anyone involved would read this. I have a tendency to look into certain situations a bit too much sometimes - I let things get to me personally when I know that's not how they were intended. To sum up my ramlbings, damn I feel fucking unnattractive at the moment :'-(

Doh!

2005-08-01T16:18:00.000+10:00

I'm going Greek - not literally, but I've noticed how awesomely cute Greek guys are. I spent my weekend hanging around one. It's becoming unbearable to be with someone (who'd I class as SO HOT and SO KNOWS what he's doing in bed) and then get introduced to 5 of his mates, 3 of them being... you guessed it - hot Greek guys. Ontop of that, 2 of THEM flirt with me. Ah dilemma's dilemma's. Now, the guy that I fucked, he really likes me, and I REALLY like him. We've arranged to meet up next weekend, and I think he wants us to become a "regular thing" and possibly dating. However, every time his mates were around I couldn't help wanting to pounce on the other 2 that so OBVIOUSLY flirted with me, by asking questions like "How big is your dick?"... because they too, are fucking hot as hell. Am I torturing myself? What should I do? Try and retain a relationship that hasn't even evolved to that actual stage yet, even though I really want to have him as my "Bitch"? Or give into my extremely high sex drive and try and get the other two into a threesome, which would be fucking awesome?

Random Thoughts #618

2005-07-30T15:37:00.000+10:00

I have "Sunday Morning" by No Doubt stuck in my head, even though it's Saturday arvo.

The mango-scented soap I bought has made my skin go red, and it BURNS somewhat.

I lit up a ciggie thismorning despite wearing a Nicotine Patch, and made myself sick.

I've discovered that red wine hangovers are THE worst.

When people say "this tastes like shit", are they admittedly stating they know what shit tastes like?

White chocolate supremely outdoes milk chocolate when it comes to supressing depression.

The word "gherkin" just isn't as funny as it used to be.

Fun Times

2005-07-28T15:15:00.000+10:00

I decided to remove my last post, which was dedicated to a very sexy mate of mine, because... believe it or not, some people actually emailed me and complained that I never posted anything erotic about them on my Blog. So, I've decided to remove the message (for now), and think up a better one - one that disses all you lousy fucks who actually had the nerve to whinge to me about how unloved I SOMEHOW made you feel. To all the rest of you - my next X-Rated story will be posted up shortly, and involves quite a few of my regular readers!!!

On another topic, over the last few days, I've felt quite mischevious. Awhile ago, I bought this magnificent book (which I've probably mentioned before) called "The Adults Only Guide To Pranks". Today, I let some of my built-up evilness out, by dumping a full bottle of detergent in one of the toilets in the mall, then stepping into the cubicle next door, and waiting. Sure enough, some poor bastard was lucky enough to use my "soap bomb in waiting", and as soon as they flushed, I saw tons of soap suds flow under the door. There were so many, the foam reached up to my knees - and I was in the cublicle NEXT DOOR. I can't imagine what it woulda been like for the poor soul who was in THE tampered cubicle. Ah, such fun... although, that was just a warm up. I need something more grandesque next time. Any suggestions?

Luv AL
xoxox

So Much For a Chillout...

2005-07-25T13:46:00.000+10:00

So much for my realxing weekend -
I found out that one of my so-called "best" mate's has been backstabbing the living hell outta me, just to stay friends with 2 people whom he worships like Gods, even though they treat him like a peice of shit. His loss. His BIG loss. I don't get along with the 2 tossers who he devotes his life to, but I'm gonna tell 'em anyway about how they're being decieved, and get my vengeful...um, vengeance.
Ontop of that, I got paryletic drunk on Saturday, and got depressed over pointless issues.

Arg.
xoxox

Lazy Dayz...

2005-07-22T11:15:00.000+10:00

Ok, I've been a lazy bugger. Honestly, I just ccouldn't be stuffed blogging anything over the last four days, due to the fact it's marvelously sunny and warm outside, and I'm enjoying it while it lasts.

I'm off to an Art and Craft Expo tomorrow. I haven't planned anything outrageous or extravagant this weekend. I don't particularly feel like headin' out on the town at some god-awful hour in the morning, only to pay uber-insane prices for standard drinks, get wasted, wait for 2 hours in a taxi queue to get home, and then wake up hungover as hell, partially deaf, and craving KFC. Seems reasonable to have a chillout session eh?

Catch~!
xoxox

Flushed Out

2005-07-19T09:42:00.000+10:00

It's taken me awhile to blog my daily doings, because I've been pampering myself. A long weekend full of luxury - to put all the problemo's that've been plaguing my mind, in the back of my head, and let pleasure have it's turn for a change... who am I kidding? For a change? More like "as usual"!
I would first like to state the fact that I've succumbed to a trend. A supposed "health" trend, that seems to be taking the world by storm. A trend where my curiousity got the better of me. A trend that's left me feeling like I've lost my virginity all over again. Yes, my friends, we're talking about Colonic Irrigation. What started off as a dare, has now become a once-off expedition that I will remember for the rest of my life. It was a very odd experience, adn even though I did feel clean and strangely "empty", AL's not headin' down THAT path ever again. The nurse (who had the smile of a lottery winner - more fool her) shoves this double-piped tube up your ass - one pipe flushes your anal cavity with water, whilst the other expells all the waste. I got a lovely view of all my "toxins" being pumped out of me, down the little SEE THROUGH tube, to wherever it's destination is (most likely the Yarra River, judging by the color). I can't help but think, IF I had still been a virgin beforehand, would I still be one now? I mean, sure, it's not dick, but you're still having fluid being pumped into your ass, and then felched out, only by a machine instead of a human. How would I rate the experience? Apart from the fact that it's a marvelous, if expensive, preparation ritual before a "good night in" it's an utterly pointless way to put yourself in a completely uncomfortable situation.

I've gotten over my bad mood, once again by going out and Tequila-ing my way into complete oblivion. Ok, so drinking shouldn't be the answer, but seriously guys, this time it WAS, and purely by accident. My friends tied me down and poured shot after shot down my throat, via a funnel taped to my face... Ok, so it WASN'T an accident, but I'll stick to my original claim that it was... even though I've just stated that it wasn't. Bugger. ANYway, I was talking about my not-so-bad-mood... Yeah, I went out on the town, and did some stuff under the Alfuence of Incohol. I did what now? Well, I picked up. I got over my "I'm sick of heaving meaningless sex" mood, by having meaningless sex. Go firgure. And it was great - especially after my life-altering "cleansing" experience. Ah, I need a ciggie.

Luv Ya'll
xoxox

My New Fad

2005-07-16T14:31:00.000+10:00

I'm quite possibly on my way to buying a Smart Car. They're SO small, and so not built to withstand ANY accident (big or small), so I'll have to be extra careful on the road. They're just so cute! I have weighed up the positives and negatives - the negatives being it looks like it would pretty much get flattened in an accident of any sorts - but it's so cute... and it's retails for a standard price of any normal coupe, which is convenient. Unfortunately, sex-in-car-wise, it won't do justice. Oh well -
xoxox

Rebound

2005-07-15T14:53:00.000+10:00

I have to admit - there are some days where I'll let the smallest of things, whether it be a depressing thought, or someone being rude, get me down... and from there on, it snowballs into something so incredibly large, I find myself stuck in an emotionally drowning hole, wondering how I got into it to begin with. If I made a graph of how my mood alternates throughout the week, it'd look like a reading from an earthquake that measures a good 10 on the richter scale.
I just need to find something to "ground" me, and I think the statement I was trying to put out, was that having a companion would calm me down a certain degree. Not entirely though - we all need a bit of "ALfluence" in our lives.

Downfall

2005-07-14T10:11:00.000+10:00

In contrast of my last post - I'm fucking sick of being lonely. Aside from the "special few" that I'd really like to get into the sack, because I've pretty much pre-arranged it with them, I'm sick of not having someone to love, & someone to love me back.
I'm sick of waking up morning after morning, and thinking "here comes another day spent alone". I'm sick of nobody taking a genuine interest in me other than for a quick root. I'm sick of going out clubbing, and realising the next day that the "nice guy" that I met intended only to stick around for one night, never to be seen again after that.
I'm tired of there being such a small scope of places to meet other gay guys. I mean, sure, there are the gay nightclubs - but what chances do I have of meeting someone genuine and who shares the same interests as me, someone of whom I share a "spark" with, in a crowded room, where everyone's either tipsy or drunk, and the music's too loud to have a decent conversation over? Aside from the precious few gay friends that I have, who's lives all seem to revolve around my ex and his vicious, rumor spreading motives to keep me single and alone for the rest of my life, I know relatively nobody.
To be honest, I'd be lying if I were to say that it's not affecting me mentally. I feel depressive most days. I feel unwanted, and unattractive, both physically and in personality. Sometimes I wish I could just vanish into thin air, for the curiousity of seeing whether anyone would notice that I had gone. I doubt anyone would. Everyone would forget and move on, aside from those who read this, because technically, through this post, I've forewarned them.

Ramblings #3

2005-07-13T11:06:00.000+10:00

I would like to start off by saying that the season finale of The OC was not up to my standards as being good entertainment, as Ryan (Ben McKenzie) did NOT get naked. Where's HIS gay storyline eh? I'll have to write my own fan-fiction I think...
I spent last night sending SMS's into Channel V's "Checkout" program - a show where people send in their head shots, and the public rate them. Damn some people are ugly. Where do these people get off, thinking that I want their mug, which inadvertantly looks like a bucket of smashed crabs, plastered on my television? Lemme see some spunks, and I'll be happy!
I've recently noticed a decline in guys who just want straight out, no-strings-attached sex. I mean, I know in the past I've said that I'm gettin sick of the whole sex-and-nothing-else thing, but sometimes I just want it SO bad, and now everyone else seems to have become all monogamus. I just can't win. Anyone out there wanna fuck? I had another, yes, ANOTHER Jesse dream last night. A Jesse Metcalfe dream. What's with celebrity dreams these days? I don't geddit - NOT that I'm complaining. I have a thing for guys with dark hair and dark eyes. It gets me every time. There are a few others I wouldn't mind "fantasy-fucking" either... one being that guy from 7th Heaven who plays Robbie (left) -
I'd love to hear (or see) who others find supremely hot...
xoxox

JB in Bed

2005-07-12T11:42:00.000+10:00

Talk about dreams being influenced by television. I was watching ET last night, and they showed a preview of "Happy Ending" starring Jesse Bradford. Apparently he gets all naked for us in it - which is quite an alluring though... anyhoo, I wake up thismorning from the most incredible sex dream about JB. Didn't really want to wake up either. It was nice. And kinky.

I think I may have an addiction to blogging - or more so, changing the appearance of my blog. Like Michael Jackson has an addiction to plastic surgery and gettin' into fucked up situations with children, it ain't gonna stop. I am a guy of constant change.

'Nuff Said. Catchya!
xoxox

Violence again?

2005-07-08T09:43:00.000+10:00

I awoke thismorning to find the the television on, and reports that London had fallen victim to a Terrorist Act. Several bombs had exploded in the Tube underground, and another had exploded on a double decker bus. Atleast 30 people are dead, and more than 700 injured. Once again, I'm saddened by the loss of life, and the sheer panic that has spread worldwide over, once again, an utterly crude act of violence. This world really is a scary place to live in...

On another, much lighter note, this weekend will be a much more subdued, relaxed couple of days. I plan on going shopping, maybe buying another pair of shoes to satisfy my fetish, bringing the total to 17 pairs. Pretty good for a guy. What else? Well, I'll probably visit the Esoteric Bookshop and stock up on candles, and incence. Maybe a new pair of jeans from m-one-11. A new shoulder bag, because my other one is so small, it could almost be a handbag - NOT something I think I need to be seen with. Ooh, and some CD's. New music is always a plus. Kelis is my flava of the month. I still dedicate "Caught Out There" to certain people. Awesome.
And when I say shopping, I mean HONEST shopping - not like yesterday's incident with Rhys (you naughty boy - you know what I'm on about!)

Anyhoo, I'm off on another wacky adventure down the street. Catchya'll lata.
xoxox

Something, Untitled

2005-07-06T12:20:00.000+10:00

The sun is out. It's warm... well, it LOOKS warm. I have a feeling that if I step outside, I'm gonna freeze my ass off.

I haven't been mopoing around today. I've decided there's no point in getting overly depressive over something I cannot fix. I'll be there for my mate, and help him through it, but I can't afford to get caught up in it too much, otherwise I'll never move on. To some that may seem selfish, but it's not something I can particularly cope with well, being sickness and death related. I've never been good with stuff like that, which I guess'll screw me over when I eventually shrivel up and die from old age - HOPEFULLY old age...

It's recently struck me how alot of my friends are so reliant and gossip, and not very interested in anything else. In the last few days, I've felt really shit, and I would've loved to talk to someone. I sent a few of my more understanding mates messages, hoping someone would get back to me, and no one did. All everyone wants to know these days is who's said what about who, and who's sleeping with who. No one wants to hear any bad stuff, because they prefer to shut it out. Either that, or TRUE friends are just getting harder and harder to find.

Deathliness & Loneliness

2005-07-05T12:30:00.000+10:00

I couldn't sleep last night. So many thoughts are now pumping through my brain, as a million paces a minute. My friend (his name's Todd) who was recently told he was HIV Positive, lent me a book to read (pictured left) so that I could understand a bit more about his health. Unfortunately, it ALSO happened to be a tale of love, sex and togetherness - something which reflected mine and Todd's friendship to a certain point - and ended up with one of the main characters dying from HIV. I cried for a good 20 minutes after I'd finished it (damn emotional side). The book's called "Holding The Man" by Tim Conigrave. The story is based around events between a young gay couple in Melbourne, who develop HIV. It's incredibly moving towards the end, and I seriously recommend it to the gay community.
I'm starting to feel a little sick of the whole "dating game" now. I've had (some of the best) sex with ALOT of guys now, been through a few broken relationships with people I didn't really have all that much in common with, blah blah blah. However now, I find myself stuck in a kind of limbo, where I start to want a proper relationship, with someone I have alot in common with - and it's not happening. As I've said a million bloody times before, I don't go out gay clubbing all that often, so it's hard for me to meet other gay guys. The thing is, do I jump out there and purposely go to these places, just for the hope of meeting that special someone, or should I wait, and ponder the saying "Good things come to those WHO wait" ...

:'-(

2005-07-04T14:30:00.000+10:00

A dear friend of mine, who've I known for almost 10 years, has been diagnosed HIV positive. Worst of all, his doctor gave him a 10% chance of making it to 30 years of age. Last night I could sleep. I cried a river of tears for a friend who's given me so much happiness... life's not fair.

Party Pooper

2005-07-02T11:16:00.000+10:00

The rain has stopped, yet I'm fucking tired as hell because some ignorant asshole decided to throw a party across the road. The party itself wasn't the problem - I have no worries about the guy's music taste, or the fact he had a few people round havin' a good time... it's when you get drunken fuckwits spreading out down the street, hangin' out in their little groups, literally shouting conversations to eachother because they have no consideration for the neighbours. Now I'm grumpy, and I'm goin' out tonight - ironically, to a mates party. The only difference being, is my mate knows how to CONTROL his friends, and he respects the people who live around him.

I would also like to state quickly, that I had a dream about me and my ex getting intimate, and then I stabbed him to death. Anyone wanna make an interpretation?

xoxox

back

2005-07-01T12:37:00.000+10:00

Since the fire, I've felt drained and un-creative.I think it's time to focus on my spiritual needs again,and get back into the swing of things.

Pointless

2005-06-30T11:56:00.000+10:00

Over the last few months, I've noticed how there seem to be two main types of Bloggers.
- The one's who post for themselves, and
- The one's who post for others.

The one's who post for themselves usually reflect on something that's happened to them, or something they'd like to express their point of view on.
Whereas, the one's who post for others, usually only post for a select group of people, most likely the people they hang around when not on the internet.

I have a friend who seems somewhat intelligent, yet obviously started a blog purely based on the fact that it seems to be a fad within his friendship group - thus they've ended up with a blog where they beg for comments, and doesn't reply to the one's who actually have something to reflect on the post they've read. Come to think of it, they DO reply to some comments, but only to the ones that read like childrens scribble, or some drunken slur.

So here's my pitch - if you wanna start a blog, by all means do so - but if you wanna be taken in any way seriously, then stop with the crap, because it makes you look dense and stupid.

PS: The author of the blog mentioned won't be revealed.

XOXOX

Wild Nights

2005-06-28T17:08:00.000+10:00

Saturday: I meet up with my mate Skot and we catch a train into the city. To cure my ever-on-going boredom, I spend the majority of the trip designing tattoos, and drawing people with faces who resemble genitalia. Got to Melbourne. Met up with Adam. Bought a bottle of Cougar XS. Went back to hotel room and got drunk. At about 1:30am, we finally decided we would hit the town in search of a good rave party. Couldn't find our desired nightclub. Some guy who had a striking resemblance to Will Ferrell tried to show us the way, but I didn't trust him based on the fact that his face looked like it was made out of plastic. Eventually found oursellves some ravers moving between clubs, and ended up at Krankin' - a small techno club hidden within the foyer of a large building. Stayed there 'til 5am, where I proceeded to drink myself almost into a coma, before stupidly accepting 2 E's and re-uniting with Charlie in the restrooms. Finally decided to leave after Skot got kicked out for being too wasted - even though I was worse off than him.

Sunday: Woke up at 10am. Decided to lay in bed for awhile, forgetting about the early check out time. Had the cleaening lady barge in on all 3 of us in bed together, even though when she'd knocked on the door we told her to hold on a minute. 15 minutes after that, the Hotel manager came in and went ballistic, ripping the bedsheets of the 3 of us, revealing the fact that me and Adam were sporting huge boners, making the incident extremely cringe-worthy, now that I think of it. I grabbed the majority of our stuff in my bag, and we left, but not before Adam got kicked in the back and almost pushed down the stairs. I was appalled at how we were treated, and I'm now in the process of planning sweet revenge on the homophobic bastard of a manager. Later on that day, I met up with Ryan, who I was s'posed to meet the night before, but couldn't because I'd missed the last train to his suburb. Went to Luna Park, and then strolled along the beach and talked about random stuff, before heading in search of a supermarket so I could buy a bottle of water. Several hours later, still wandering around looking for a supermarket, despite being side-tracked by several large shopping centres, we had to part our seperate ways. Hopefully I'll get to see that cutie again :-P Sunday night was spent at Adam's place, havin' a smoke of Mr Green Jeans and forgetting the topic of conversation halfway through talking. I've decided that the reason I could never become a surgeon is because I wouldn't be able to resist the urge to place inanimate oddly-shapoed objects in people, that would show up on X-rays - stuff such as tiny plastic frogs, or even worse, the patients car keys. Yes, I AM evil.

Monday: Slept in and decided to whittle the day away smoking cones and watching Office Space. Damn that movie's funny. I have to buy it one day. Eventually caught the train home, and had a good night's sleep when I got back. Mmmmmm sleep.

Ok, so yes, I've missed out on some details, but I haven't got a photographic memory, and aside from that, I can't be fucked writing every single thing down. Have a good one people,
Luv Ya'll, XOXOX

apocalyptically over-tired

2005-06-25T10:19:00.000+10:00

"and the Smurfs all gathered around the lone Oompa Loompa, chanting a Satanic sacrificial ritual verse, as they all got out their dust-busters, and proceeded to suck the orange pigment from it's skin"

(Sometimes it's better to get a good night's sleep)

Chilled & Warm

2005-06-24T13:14:00.000+10:00

I am hellbent on having a good time tonight. I am not gonna let the Flu ruin my entire weekend. I look forward to sitting by the fire, Cosmopolitan in one hand, ciggie in the other, with some close friends, talking about past times, great parties, future lovers, and other miscellaneous things. I feel warm just thinking about it.

xoxox

Raindrops in Wonderland

2005-06-23T11:34:00.000+10:00

I'm SO hating the weather at the mo - I wake up, and it's freezing cold, and raining. So I rug up to stay warm in the winter weather. THEN, however, by about 11am, the sun comes out, and I start to warm up, thus, I go home and change because I end up sweltering. Before you know it, it's raining again by about 2pm, and I start to freeze my ass off. No wonder I feel sick constantly. The weatherman is seriously out to fuck with my head.

I'm off on another city adventure this weekend (yes, AGAIN). I'm meetin' up with a few guyz, go out on the town, most likely to HEAT (pictured left) - gorgeous decor, great drinks, marvelous location, and a cage for people to dance in, above the DJ booth. How enticing! I'm also takin' the opportunity to get some photo's done, and who knows, most likely I'll get drunk, and strip to pose for some nudey-shots *evil grin*

I had an "Alice in Wonderland" dream again last night. Except, it was a black rabbit I was chasing, and my ex-boyfriend was the Queen of Hearts. And the Cheshire Cat was armed with a machine gun. And I got wasted at the Mad Hatter's Tea Party... I think this MAY be a sign from my sub-concious mind telling me not to drink coffee 10 minutes before I go to bed.

Luv Ya'll, XOXOX

Questions, Questions...

2005-06-22T11:21:00.000+10:00

1: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, find line 4. Write down what it says:
"grabbed at his flesh and tore it from his limp body."
2: Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What do you touch first?
Um, air - though if I put my arm down, my hand lands on my journal.
3: What is the last thing you watched on TV?
I passed an electronics store that had Toy Story 2 playing on their TV's. Duz that count?
4: WITHOUT LOOKING, guess what the time is:
12 noon
5: Now look at the clock; what is the actual time?
12:47pm
6: With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
My "Ministry of Sound: Sessions Volume 2" CD blasting out of my stereo at an insane volume level.
7: When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
I popped outside and had a ciggie on my patio.
8: Before you came to this website, what did you look at?
I was reading up on the shennanigans of the Big Brother House.
9: What are you wearing?
Clothes, for a change.
10: Did you dream last night?
Yep, about being attacked by Ooompa Loompa's.
11: When did you last laugh?
Thismorning, when I used a public bathroom, and read a sentence on the bottom the the cubicle door that stated "You Are Now Pooing at a 45 Degree Angle!"...
12: Last person you talked to on the phone?
My shrink, who called about 4 minutes ago.
13: Seen anything weird lately?
I saw a man with a goiter about the size of a football. It looked like a second head.
14: What books are you reading?
Danse Massacre by Stephen King, and the Davinci Code
15: What is the last thing you ate?
Sushi, from the local health bar.
16: If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy first?
To be honest, a packet of expensive cigarettes, and a bottle of imported top shelf Tequila.
17: Tell me something about you that I don’t know.
I love it when guys blow in my mouth. (What?!? There isn't much people DON'T know!)
18: Are you too shy to ask someone out?
No. If I'm too shy to ask someone out, then they're ovbiously not for me.
19: Favorite flowers?
White roses.
20: What item in your line of sight have you owned the longest?
A photo frame that orignally held a photo of my Dad in it, until I burned it. Now it's got a pic of my cat in it.
21: Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you name her?
Skye
22: Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you name him?
Dexter
23: If you were dating someone a lot taller/shorter than you, would it affect the relationship?
Yeah, I like to see eye to eye with people. Also, having equal advantage in a 69'er is a nice touch.

High, somewhat...

2005-06-21T09:35:00.000+10:00

"When I close my eyes, I can still see hundreds of people infront of me, with their hands in the air" -
from The Crowd Song by Rythym Gangsta's.

If I'm in a chilled out, suave mood, I go to the cocktail lounges -
If I'm in a horny, agressive mood, I trawl the gay clubs -
If I feel sexy, I head to the R'n'B clubs -
If I'm energetic and full of Tequila, I seek out the underground rave clubs -
and if I'm in Sale... I go nowhere, because Sale only has one nightclub, and I wouldn't be seen DEAD in there, unless I'm really REALLY drunk...

Today I'm in a rather large hyperactive mood. I feel like typing complete and utter nonsense, but I won't because I don't want to fuck people's minds up. Not that I actually could fuck people's mind's up. That would be quite painful, to have a penis inserted into your brain. Infact, I wouldn't want anything inserted into my brain. Well, maybe chocolate, directly onto the portion which deals with sexual thoughts. I can see good things comming from that. Has anyone noticed how bad a cigarette tastes after chocolate? How much does that suck? All in all, I'd found the ULTIMATE 3-some (not including the Jesse Braford, Colin Farrel and me one!!!) until my evil discovery: Coffee, chocolate and a ciggie. But noooooo, my perfect combo had to backfire on me.

I want to go raving tonight, to Bubble to be specific, but it's only open Saturdays. It's wicked there, 'coz last time I went, they had free massages, and free fruit (for the E'd up people), and the DJ played like, 5 of my fave songs in a row. How fucking marvelous is that? Very fucking marvelous indeed.

Anyway, enough of this nosensical weirdness. This is AL, signing of from Hyperactivopolis.
Luv Ya'll. XOXOX

...

2005-06-20T11:08:00.000+10:00

The chilling air envelopes me as I sit outside, light a cigarette, and ponder why I chose to drink so much last night...

Another LONG day...

2005-06-18T12:36:00.000+10:00

Do we really need another Law & Order spin-off? "Trial By Jury" hits Australian shores in the next couple of weeks. Now, free-to-air TV is literally packed full of different Law & Order shows. THEN, we have Pay TV, which shows constant repeats, maybe four or five times a day. We don't need this over-bombardment of crime shows. I don't want to turn on the television after 8:30pm, and constantly see trench-coat wearing detectives investigating some gruesome murder, that ALWAYS has some elusive plot twist in the last 15 minutes. Sure, the series HAS been popular, but don't producers know that overkill does exist? And to top it all off, there's nothing overly new about Trial By Jury - same general setting, same boring lawyers arguing over someone's innocence or offences. To counter some of the darker shows on television at the mo, I've come up with some of my own Law & Order spinoffs:
"Law & Order - Miami Vacation" : Detective Stabler comes to the realisation that he's gay, and launches an all out assualt on the crime-wave in the south, with his 10 inch schlong.
"Law & Order - Gang Wars" : An in-depth look at how stupid cops get killed whilst trying to investigate gang warfare.
"Law & Order - Sex on the Bench" : The lust-fuelled lives of the legal community. Filled with raunchy sex, scandal, and the occasional underpaid whore who eventually sues.
If there are any producers out there willing to take me up on a few scripts, please email me, you pathetically boring bastards...

I would like to take this opportunity of space to state that I think Clay Aitken is one hell of an ugly fucker. I could compare his "look" to that of a 3 day old corpse found floating in the Hudson River. And that voice - although if I'm ever in need of a CD that helps people to fall asleep in 5 seconds flat, I'll consider buying his.

In other news - some people suck anus (& not in the good way). My recent city trip was somewhat ruined in the early hours, because oe of my more recently aquired friends decided to send me a text message stating that "if I was to go anywhere near his ex, I'd be in trouble". Like I'm gonna go out of my fucking way (mean in more ways than one *evil grin*) to ruin someone else's night. I had a marvelous time doing what I did best (dancing, drinking and fucking). Now however, I'm left feeling somewhat bad for something I didn't even do. It's amazing how even an insinuation of something can bring on guilt. This so-called new "mate" of mine seemed like a nice guy, and then he did a complete 180 on me with no warning signs what-so-ever. I'm left feeling like I've done wrong by him, even though I haven't. However bad he's hurt my feelings, I feel that he's too good a friend to lose, and although I've left a couple of messages on his phone, I've gotten no reply. Am I crying over spilt milk, or am I being sensible by wanting to save a friendship that I believe could be a good one?

Questions. Where's the fun in life without 'em, really?
Have a good one people,
Luv AL, xoxox!

Trip Report - Finally

2005-06-17T09:07:00.000+10:00

Clubhopping Trip #"I've Lost Count"...

Saturday: After a lenghty venture into the city, after jumping on what was later to be revealed as a bungled tram with faulty brakes, which naturally came to a grinding halt more than 15 minutes walks away from the next tram depot, I'd come to the conclusion that it was gonna be another botched up excursion which'd leave me spending half my time dealing with the fucked up transport situation Melbourne has to offer. Thanfully, I eventually got to my hotel in time, booked a room, watched TV and drank a 6 pack of Woodstock Premium 7% Bourbon. My destination was Xchange - the friend I'd originally arranged to meet me there, had not called, infact, they had their phone turned off - the epitome of rudeness when you know someone's gonna call you. But, little woeful me, who was slightly inebriated by that point, decided to venture out anyway. Arriving at Xchange, I found myself surrounded in an array of really hot young guys, all wearing round a bouts the same thing: jeans, white sneakers, and a pink polo with the collar turned up. Marvellous. So I socialized (as a social whore must do), slowly drinking myself into oblivion, and eventually got chatted up by this hot couple who were looking for a threesome. My decision to join them? Oh c'mon, like that's an unanswerable question. The rest of my night was fucking awesome, even if I was confined to the bedroom for a good 4 hours.

Sunday: A friend I'd met the previous night convinced me to stay an extra night, and come out on the town again. I found myself back at Xchange for a tiny bit, mainly to watch the midnight stripper act, which I was sorely dissapointed with. Strippers usually have a tendency to be sexy, and this guy was, until he dragged up what looked to be a drowned rat (later on inspection, it turned out to be an OBVIOUSLY underage uber-fugly twink) and proceeded to give him a lapdance. It was like Beauty and the Beast. Unfortunately, the Beasyt kinda ruined the whole picture - thus, I left shortly afterwards. I headed on to Evolution, a more classy nightspot across the road. A mixed venue, not just limited to one type of sexuality. Pumping rave music got me goin good here, and soon I was bouncing off the walls due to a mixture of Tequila and half an E someone gave me out of sheer generosity. Found myself a hot young spunk, who introduced himself by grinding himself up against me on the dancefloor. In the end, we were literally having a fuck on the dancefloor, which didn't seem to disrupt the hetereosexual couples surrounding us. I'm pretty sure they were up to the same deal too. Found ourselves a toilet cubicle, after a drunken journey through the dark club, and finally got to wrap my lips around his huge 8 inch cock, blowing him until he shot his load, to which he returned the favor. Parted and went on our separate ways, and went back to my mates place, where I literally passed out.

Monday: Severe hangover from the past two nights out. Spent the day doing absolutely fuck all. Discovered that chinese food is THE best hangover cure, with a pint of beer. Caught the train home, slept until I almost missed my stop, and headed back to my dingy little house.

All in all, I don't really have anything against the gay clubs now - not that I did before, I just didn't agree with the stereotypical vibe of it all. Now however, I realise sometimes it's good to get into it all - I was with 3 super-cute guys in 2 days. I may still have my mojo after all.

Luv AL, xoxox

Brrrrr

2005-06-15T09:07:00.000+10:00

I returned from a big weekend out on the town, just in time, to catch the Flu. Dammit.

.

2005-06-11T10:55:00.000+10:00

THE WEEKEND HAS ARRIVED!!!

Aside from ^that, the weather is somewhat gloomy, as I surf the social wave into my two days of leisure. I've always been a "Summer Guy". On THOSE days where the temperature hits 40degrees (that's 104 farenheit for you American's), where almost everyone is inside worshipping their air-conditioners or at the pool... THAT kind of summer. At the mo, it's winter. Dammit. The sky is constantly grey, and rain threatens every waking moment that I'm outside. Not alot of fun for AL. Luckily tonight I'll be mostly inside, either drinkin' it up with my mates, or dancing the night away, totally oblivious to time itself. Another thing that shits me about winter is the taxi lines, and how they're significantly larger. Along with the majority of the clubbing population, there is NOTHING worse than emerging out of a club that you've spent a good 6 hours at, only to find that the queue for taxi's stretches atleast half a kilometre down the street. Can't walk home because you fear your legs will either collapse from weakness, or fall off completely. Add the fact that you've become a walking brewery, and the idea of walking home just isn't realistic anymore. Have a good weekend people!

Luv AL, xoxox

Some People rolls eyes

2005-06-10T09:49:00.000+10:00

There are some people in life which really puzzle me. I haven't spoken to my ex (Jason - and to think I forbid myself from ever mentioning that name on here again) in over a year, yet he still feels it's his job to bitch about, and take cruel stabs at everything I do. Why is this? I've moved on, yet he's having trouble staying away. In the past year, he's done nothing but try and upset me, and even though I haven't retaliated (given I don't want to lower myself to his level of patheticness), he just keeps going on and on. So I'm sitting here, thinking about the underlying meanings of this. Why do some people feel the need to torment their previous partners? Is it because they lack the personal skills to deal with the fact that their ex-lover has moved on in the world, or is it something more?

I've decided I'm going to murder the weather man from TV - he's given us nothing but bad, bullshit weather forecasts for the last week. Yesterday it was s'posed to be atleast 20degrees (celcius), so I left my jacket at home, and ventured out wearing only a t-shirt (and jeans, for all you gutter-minded people out there). Two hours later, I swear my skin had turned blue, and I was shaking like an epileptic under a strobe light. Today is also s'posed to be 20degrees, but I've taken not of the weatherman's fuck-up, and have decided to wear a jacket, to prevent evil-skin-numbness. However, it's getting warmer now, thus I can see myself shedding all these extra layers and carrying around a bunch of clothes I don't really need. Dammit!

I'm once again looking forward to my big-night-out tomorrow. This is becoming a habit. More so, a lifestyle - which ineveitably I'm gonna have to give up if I want to travel, because I keep spending my cash on V.I.P memberships and expensive champagne. But for now, I'm happy. I'm trying out the Xchange, a gay bar in Commercial Road, Prahran. Yeah yeah, I know I've made a point about not liking the gay clubs and such, but I have to give it a go. I can't alienate myself from disco music for too long, otherwise I'll go nuts.

Luv AL, xoxox

Weird...

2005-06-09T09:10:00.000+10:00

Thursdays - I hate Thursdays. For one, it's 'coz it's the day before the day before the weekend. I start looking forward to Saturday, and long for that immense sleep in, but I have to wait because I've still got another day ontop of this one to get through. I also hate Thursdays because this is the day where everyone calls me up and suggests other plans to spend the 2 days that I have to enjoy myself, thus resulting in me re-working my schedule, only to have the original plan come back into action on Saturday morning. Ontop of that, add the cold winter weather, and the fact that I'm down to my last 5 cigarettes and I can't afford anymore - AL's in a bad, bad mood. Infact, I reckon I can handle Monday's better than Thursdays. Weird...

Me and a mate were discussing how many people we'd been with over a few beers last night. My mate proudly stated he'd been with over 25 chicks in the last 3 years, labelling himself a stud. Wow, what does that make me, a slut? I lied, and said I'd only been with about 40 guys in the last 3 years - about a third of the true amount. Does this make me a slut? I mean, I just like sex, is there anything wrong with that? If not, as some of you would say, then why did I hold back and lie about it? I don't understand half the things I do or say. Weird again...

Luv AL! xoxox

Another Dreadful Season

2005-06-08T10:19:00.000+10:00

W I N T E R

I'd be remarkably happier if it snowed.

But it never will.

Not HERE anyway.

*insert sad face here* and just to add to the miserable time I'm having:it always happens, things look hopeful and i'm happy ~ only to have myself shot down by my own emotional arrow, which sends my lifeless corpse crashing to the ground

Bitching and Whining

2005-06-07T09:22:00.000+10:00

I have to laugh at some people. I know this person, let's call him *Ben. Ben has a serious problem with his friend's talking to his ex-boyfriend's. Thus, when this happens, he can't accept the fact that just because he's broken a link, his friend's choose not. Therefore, he dumps them too. Apparently this happens over and over again. Geez, he's gonna be stuffed soon - it seems us gay guys are all linked in some way or another, whether it be friendship wise, or previous one-night-stands. He's gonna end up with no-one. Do I care? Not really. Ben's my ex too. I don't stop talking to people because they talk to him. How fucking immature...
(*Name's may or may NOT be changed :-P)

Still on the topic of people - don't you hate it when someone close to you passes on some juicey information, that happens to be about someone backstabbing one of your other friends. And what makes it even worse is that the backstabber is someone your other friend has feelings for. Half of me wants to tell this friend that they are being led on, but the other half of me knows that the inevitable opening of this Pandora's Box is going to lead into arguments and fighting. Maybe I should just let the river run it's way...

I'm off on another adventure into the city on Saturday. Meeting up with friends, buying SHOES, going out clubbing, doing "my thing" . I might pick up, though I haven't exactly planned to. I'm not the sort of person to plan a night out TO pick up, thus it probably explains why I'm not a big fan of the Gay clubs. Gimme a good martini in a nice chic cocktail bar anyday, rather than go to some dingy neon lit bar playing Kylie Minogue and retro 80's bullshit. Sorry, I may be Australian, but I ain't no Kylie fan. I hate her voice. It's so nasal.

Luv AL, xoxox

My Complicated Life

2005-06-04T11:23:00.000+10:00

I spent the morning trying to figure out the lyrics to "She's Not You" by Jesse McCartney, because I've had it stuck in my head ever since I heard it in Craig's ute whilst driving in Traralgon! Now, I'm not the biggest fan of the young, yet obviously talented and somewhat good-looking singer - but I'm getting there. It's not common for me to get a pop song embedded in my mind. Infact, the last time this happened was with "The Middle" by the Sugababes. Yet, some tracks seem to break through the "Non-Commercial Wall" and this seems to be one of them. So it's YAY-for-pop-music, for now anyway...

Still on the topic of music, Slinky is drawing closer and closer, and I'm yet to decide how I'm going to dress for it. Last year, I dyed my hair black, except for two devil horns which were bright red. I wore a white t-shirt with the word "WHORE" scribbled across it in huge black letters, "Elevator" sneakers that had 3-inch thick soles, black and white striped flares that somewhat resemble the one's Beetlejuice wore, and my signature raver sunnies - ya know the kind, the thick rimmed black ones, with yellow lenses. Yeah, I like to be outrageous, but surprisingly, I still blended into the crowd with no problems at all, well - aside from the fact I was taller than most people. Being 6ft tall, I didn't really need the extra height from my shoes, but meh...

I would like to state that semen in the eye is SO not a good thing. I had an encounter with the situation last night - not deliberately of course, I just accidentally rubbed it into my eyes whilst trying to get it off my face. Overshare? Maybe, but I was trying to describe what happened. I never assumed it would sting so bad. So naturally, I walk up the the host of the PARTY I was at, and ask to use their bathroom. Of course, I wasn't going to get away that easily. I was asked what was wrong. I replied by stating that I'd gotten something in my eye, and I needed to flush it with water for a few seconds so that the stinging would go away. They asked what I'd gotten in it. Being slightly drunk, I wasn't as quick-witted to come up with a response, so I just naturally stood there dumbfounded for a few seconds. I must've had a sheepish looking grin on my face, because they soon caught on, and after having a damn good laugh for a minute, they ushered me into the bathroom, where they proceeded to ask me 20 questions about what and WHO I was doing behind the garden shed. Embarassment? Can you say "HELL YES" 20 times?

In the past 2 weeks, I've had some amazingly embarassing situations thrown my way. I've walked into windows TWICE - once at a restaurant in the local mall, spilling my milkshake allover myself, much to the amusement of the diners inside, and once at a shopping plaza in the city, which has been recently renovated and I had not noticed they'd moved the entry doors. I've never been labelled as a klutz, though I do get myself in some hilarious fixes alot. In the past couple of years, I've been to the Emergency Department for several reasons:
* I got my hand stuck in a Nutella jar, after trying to scoop out the last remnants of chocolate spread with my fingers...
* I had a pen lodged up my nose, after leaning too close to the desk, and sneezing...
* From accidentally firing off a nail-gun whilst pointing it at my feet, impailing my foot within my shoe...
* Falling off my bike, after smashing into a low-hanging tree branch, which I didn't see, because I was checking out some guy...Ah, but I can look back now and laugh at it all, and sometimes cringe at how dumb I can be sometimes!

I have discovered the cocktail with THE grossest name: it's called a "Chicken Foetus", and although I can't remember what's in it, it's a deliberately CURDLED concoction that, while it may be nice-tasting, makes me want to wrech when it SLIDES down my throat. *shudders at the thought*

Have a funkadelic weekend peeps!
Luv AL, xoxox

Me Time

2005-06-03T10:33:00.000+10:00

I long for this cold autumn weather to vanish soon, but it continues to surge forth, bringing cold irritable mornings, and boring unsocial evenings, stuck inside, shivering next to the heater.

I look forward to a weekend of relaxation for once. No parties. No clubs. No socializing. I need some "me time" ...

Ciao, xoxox

Changes... Again

2005-06-02T12:17:00.000+10:00

It was the best of times, it was the blurst of times...

Nah, not really. Today has been quite average.
Average weather: Cold, WIndy and drab.
Average socializing: bumped into a few regulars in the mall.
Average mood: I'm happy, but not OVERLY happy.

*I've changed my diet quite recently. I've cut back on all the sugary, fatty, "loaded with carbohydrates" stuff, and I now eat alot more veges and fruit. I knew that reading my sister's "girlie-mags" would have some effect on me, but not this much. I'm now into actually getting up early in the morning and jogging around the lake. I don't smoke after 5pm (like that really matters anyway), and I try to cut the caffiene atleast 4 hours before I go to bed.
Giving up smoking: well, I re-lapsed, and I'm pissed off at myself for it. I HAVE however cut back, as it's gotten to the stage where my addiction is really starting to take control - as in, I crave a cigarette, but I don't necesseraliy WANT one. I joined the Nicobate QC Program, and I now have a number I can call whenever I feel like giving in to cravings. Hopefully I'll succeed better this time.

*I didn't sleep very well last night. I worry alot about a friend who's depressive over a few occurances which weren't in his power to control. I'm hoping he'll be fine, and be strong enough to overcome the pety bitching being thrown at him, that engulfs so many people these days.

*Me and Ant are officially OVER. To be honest, I felt somewhat smothered, and tied down, to a relationship that was so "up in the air" all the time. I don't want an open relationship. I want to be able to have someone all to myself, and not "share" them with other people. I want someone to laugh with, and sing cheesy songs with, and watch scary movies so that I can cuddle up to them... is that too much to ask?

Ciao, xoxox

Happy Happy Joy Joy

2005-05-31T09:50:00.000+10:00

*sings* - "...You're not just another lover, no you're everything to me!"
*dances around room, waving hands in the air like a stoned windmill*

The weather is fucking freezing, and it looks as if rain is on the way, but I don't care. I get to use my camo-print unbrella. I got told the other day that umbrella's are apparently SO gay - who gives a fuck if they are? Aside from the fact that I myself am SO gay, they keep people DRY. Ingenius idea really.

Recently, however bright the smiley face to the right may be, I've been feeling a little down. Not alot, just a little. You see, I met someone. A very nice person, someone I'd like to get to know a little better, as I imagine them to be quite a fun pseron to be around, and a great friend. Problem? Their ex is MY ex - proof that it IS a small world out there for one, but secondly it's proof that some people never mature, and find the only way to deal with issues is to resort to bitchiness and cruelty. It sucks, because now, I feel like I've lucked out on making friends with someone who actually seems to be sincere. Life's a fucking bitch sometimes.

Luv AL, xoxox!

Extended Day Trip

2005-05-27T12:34:00.000+10:00

Well, once again, I'm off to the city tomorrow. I need to buy more music. I hate it how GOOD dance music is hard to find in the country, and when it IS accessible, it costs shitloads more than if I travelled up to the city to buy it. So that's my mission.

Go to the city

Buy a good CD or two

Get deterred by the thousands of shops that sell t-shirts with rude slogans on them

Deliberately miss my train

Go out on the town, drink WAY more than I intended to

Stay awake ALL night

Stumble to the train station in themorning

End up waiting for an hour because I mis-read the train's departure time
and then sleep all the way home.

Marvelous plan.

Angry again

2005-05-26T13:23:00.000+10:00

With my side-blog up and running, you won't find anything raunchy on here anymore. Over the past few months, I've been receiving some rather nasty emails from people, mainly strangers, who have read my blog posts, and chosen not to just ignore them. I don't let people get to me, especially close-minded bastards who feel they have to pry into the personal lives of others and abuse their life choices. But recently, some of these threats have become violent - involving death threats and the like. I'm sickened by this. Not because it's made me slightly paranoid of the people who are sending these emails, but by the general idea that some people out there are so shallow, so discriminatory and so hurtful. People I don't even fucking know.
Anyone care to challenge my thoughts? Fuckin' BRING IT ON!

Luv AL, xoxox

Random Thoughts #2

2005-05-25T13:22:00.000+10:00

"Morning. I crawl out of bed, blinded by sunlight, i lift myself up lazily, my feet crashing down upon a mountain of paper. On my desk, candle wax has spilled into a frozen cascade, reaching towards the littered floor. My hands are weak, red & raw, but I strive to snap myself out of the weary trance that engulfs me. I foce myself up into my chair, & focus on what lay before me. A blank piece of paper, waiting to be filled with the words from my soul, as I sit here, and drink myself to death..."

An entry from my personal journal, written exactly a year ago. So far, I've filled FOUR 320 page books full of thoughts, dreams and sketches. Together, they're one of my most prized posessions. Luckily, when my flat burned to the ground (*curses lousy neighbours*), I managed to salvage these memories. I spent last night flicking through the pages, and it was like having the past 3 years slowly flash through my mind. Friends that have come and gone, successful parties that have been thrown and attended, and the arguments, conflict and depressive sessions I have fought my way through. It's interesting to see the differences between the ways I dealt with crap in 2002, to now. I think I've matured quite a bit - I think things through logically now, rather than making rash decisions which just lead to more mess. I'm happy that I have some record of my progress through life in recent times. Who knows, if I keep this up, as I'm sure I will, I'll have amassed hundreds of books by the time I'm 50!

I'm planning a weekend retreat in the next month or so. Just by myself. I need to get away from everything. From everyone. I've been feeling somewhat stressed out recently, and my doctor says if I don't give myself a break soon, I may risk "burning myself out" mentally. I'll most likely head north, somwhere along the east coast, on the ocean. I've also been thinking about places I'd like to travel overseas. I have a top 10...
10) Berlin. Can you say "Love Parade"?
9) Italy: Venice, Pisa, Rome. So much history and culture. What more could a photography-whore ask for?
8) Bermuda. More so, I want to cruise through the elusive "triangle", and actually come back.
7) Peru. More so, "The City in the Sky". I've only ever seen it in photos. I can only imagine what it loks like inreal life.
6) Amsterdam. I don't think I really have to explain.
5) Egypt. The Pyramids. Plus, the weather would be to my liking. Hot and arid... nice.
4) Cedar Point theme park, Sandusky, Ohio. I'm addicted to rollercoasters. It seems fitting.
3) China. I want to walk the whole length of the Great Wall. That would be a great achievement to me.
2) Ibiza, in summer, Of course... it's like THE island that would possibly match my lifestyle down to a tee.
1) Disneyworld Resort, Orlando. I doubt you could wipe the smile off my face the whole time I'd be there.

Don't ya hate it when you wake up too early, but then you can't get back to sleep? That happened to me thismorning, and now I feel somewhat run down, even though it's STILL morning. I must stop watching Big Brother Uplate.

Luv AL, xoxox!

Singing a song about weed.

2005-05-23T09:30:00.000+10:00

Song lyrics in Blogs. If they're your own, great. I love reading new, original material, because they're personal. But if you're going to post the lyrics to a song that already exists, there's a good chance I won't even take the effort to read them. What's the point? To get a song I probably don't even like, stuck in my head for the rest of the day? Why do people do this? It's like they don't have anything worthwhile to write, so they rip off somebody else's words and paste them down on their own blog to describe the mood they're in. Write you're own damn lyrics. Be fucking original. Sorry if some of my mates out there have done this in the past, but please, you gotta see my point...

My thoughts on the new Star Wars flick? Meh...

I had a fucking great day yesterday. After a marvelous drive home, I invited a couple of old mates around, chucked on The Doors, got stoned, and reminisced about old times. I don't see the OCCASIONAL weed-session as being bad. It's when people use it daily, to escape any form of reality, that pisses me off. I also have a laugh at those who abuse the high marijuana gives, by mixing it with alcohol as a means to get completely wasted. What tossers. But anyway - there's nothing comparable chillout-wise for me, than to relax with a joint in hand on a Sunday afternoon, having a "memory blitz" with good friends. I highly recommend it. And if you're one of those people who frown upon drugs, and/or their users, well... loosen up!

I read in the paper today that men who ejaculate more than 5 times a week cut the risk of getting Prostate Cancer by ONE THIRD. If you're single, I'd start lovin' that hand action alot more...

Have a good week guys!
Luv AL xoxox

Meh

2005-05-21T10:15:00.000+10:00

I've gone without a cigarette for FOUR days now. Initially, I assumed I'd be going absolutely nuts by now, but surprisingly I'm not. I felt more energetic after the first 72 hours. Instead of my morning coffee thismorning, I went for a jog around the lake. I found that I was able to run further, with more consistency in my pace, rather than giving up halfway and slowing to a walk like I'd done countless times previously. I've gained a few kilos, since I've developed a larger appetite, but I'd expecting that, as smoking diminishes the appetite. Of course, I'd say the worst is yet to come. I went out last night with some friends last night, but decided to stay sober, aside from a complimentary Martini that my other-half bought for me. I think it's gonna be harder to refrain from slipping into my habit when I've had a few beers poured into me. Here's hoping I pull through...!

Ciao, xoxox

Different

2005-05-20T09:07:00.000+10:00

I woke up sad today. I got out of bed, showered, had my ritualistic coffee, minus the usual cigarette, sat out on the patio, and just zoned out. I have something serious on my mind, but I don't really want to go into it, so I'll talk about something else.

Lately, well, up until today, I've been in a rather flirtacious mood. Some of you out there may have noticed this, especially if you have caught me over MSN. I'm taking a fairly good guess that it's because there are a lot of damn cute guys out there who have caught my eye. Thing is, I'm attached at the moment, and more so, my other-half doesn't mind. He doesn't mind me flirting with guys over chat, having the odd round of (extremely good) cybersex. Some may say this is wrong, infact, a lot of you may, and at first I did. But now that I've had a think about it, I guess I'm kind of lucky. We're both very sexual creatures. We both like our group sex. Our (A grade) porn. We both like making videos *blushes*, and whilst I write about sexual encounters (real & fantasy), he draws them. So if neither of us has a problem with the other indulging in our sexual fantasies, don't see any reason to make it a big deal. It may be a somewhat different view to most, but I'm liking it at the moment.

Now, back to today...I feel like a part of my soul vanished overnight. I suffer from mild depression, but I think it's getting worse. I feel like I'm losing my real self, and that I'm just becoming another version of everyone else, if you get what I'm saying. I don't feel individual anymore. Even though many say they like & love me, I don't understand why anymore. I can't remember the last time I was complimented by anyone, for anything. I feel like a lot of what I do is completely pointless and not worth doing. I'm not suicidal, I'm just getting a bit sick of life.

Oh, and HAPPY BIRTHDAY RHYSUMS XOXOX!!!

Ciao, xoxox

Noise, Juice & Pop

2005-05-19T13:58:00.000+10:00

It's known that I can't stand organ music. It gives me cold chills down my spine. I never really did well in churches because of it, not that I go into churches very much anyway. So I'm walking down the street with my friend Andrew, and surprise surprise - there's one of those mechanical carnival organs blasting out that ear-peircing noise which I love to hate. Worse yet, there was nowhere to escape to. Everywhere I had to go was in the vicinity of the awful racket. I think I've now word down my teeth an extra millimetre from the excessive grinding.

I've given up on the finding "the blog which does not exist", due to the fact that it's probably deeply depressive, which is SO NOT me... *cough* sarcasm *cough*...
As you can see, I've re-adjusted my template. My old one had problems anyway. Plus, the orange made me crave juice. Every time I looked at it. And ya know what too much juice does... which doesn't compliment my sex-filled lifestyle very well.

I bought Destiny' Child's "Girl" single today. Yes, AL has once again delved into the wonderful world of pop. But don't get me wrong, I ain't no "teeny-bopper". I relate to the lyrics, sometimes, if you replace the word "girl" with "guy"... even though the song don't sound right then... ok, so I don't change the words, but it has a nice melody. Why am I explaining myself anyway?

Ciao, xoxox

No Nicotine - Attempt #2

2005-05-17T13:19:00.000+10:00

I'm on the road to becoming a BB Live Cam Whore... - http://bigbrother.3mobile.com.au/live.asp

RHYS - YOU ARE A LEGEND! But seriously, you are one genuinely nice guy *does single person Mexican Wave over keyboard with fingers*

I offically gave up smoking on Sunday. Mainly because I was sick. Yesterday I was fine. No nicotine for the day made me feel slightly more active than usual. Had a good night's sleep for once.
Today, I'm starting to get a little stressed. Once again, I'm taking the "sit-and-wait-for-5-minutes-until-the-cravings-pass" techinique, and I'm doing OK.

Ciao, xoxox!

Random Stuff #1

2005-05-16T02:55:00.000+10:00

Sometimes it's funny to take a seat, and just observe all the people that surround you, and the characteristics that they show when they don't notice you being there...

Here's an interesting chunk of my MSN conversation I had just before:

i feel like i wanna be inside of you (when the sun goes down)... says:
i climb on top of you and begin stroking myself and you
i feel like i wanna be inside of you (when the sun goes down)... says:
i want us to cum together
AL™ says:
I can feel myself on the brink of cumming, and I start to stroke your cock with my fingertips....
AL™ says:
I grab your cock, and hold it over my chest.... as you start to jack off hard
i feel like i wanna be inside of you (when the sun goes down)... says:
your hands make me get harder
AL™ says:
I can feel that you're close to cumming.....
i feel like i wanna be inside of you (when the sun goes down)... says:
yeah i am
AL™ says:
(in real life too?)
i feel like i wanna be inside of you (when the sun goes down)... says:
i go at it faster
i feel like i wanna be inside of you (when the sun goes down)... says:
yah in real life i meant actually
i feel like i wanna be inside of you (when the sun goes down)... says:
im soooo hot right now
AL™ says:
Sweat is literally pouring off me.... I can feel my cock twitch
AL™ says:
and suddenly I'm sputing my hot cum allover your chest
i feel like i wanna be inside of you (when the sun goes down)... says:
i start cumming all over you too
i feel like i wanna be inside of you (when the sun goes down)... says:
loads of it
AL™ says:
I pull your cock up to my mouth.... and slam your cock down my mouth.... drinking up that sweet juice...

I felt like being naughty, so I chose to pursue this feeling... soz if I grossed any of you out... I write stories like this sometimes. It's a weird little hobby of mine...

Ciao, xoxox

Drugs, Raves, and Possibly more Drugs

2005-05-13T09:09:00.000+10:00

Song of da Mo: "Love Comes Again" - Teisto & BT (Original Mix)

I'm in a happy mood. I'm slowly getting better, although I'm finding it absolutely impossible to sleep. It just seems like I'm thrown one problem after the next - but at the moment, I don't give a flying fuck.

I look at the back of the box the holds my anti-biotics. It states that I shouldn't consume alcohol whilst on the medication. O...K... do the manufacturers of this drug realise that I like to go out and have fun on the weekends? Surely a few drinks won't turn me into a zombie... I'll be right. I just have to drink in moderation... which somewhat saddens me.

I'm off to Slinky in June... Yay for me! It's been awhile since me and a whole group of mates have been to Melbourne Park together to dance our arse's off for 10 hours straight...
Have fun people!

Ciao, xoxox

:-)

2005-05-11T12:53:00.000+10:00

*argh*
I have what doctors call "Stomatitis" or in crass terms, "Trench Mouth" - can be cause from senotional stress, smoking, and poor nutrition. Seems I haven't been looking after myself as well as I thought. So now, I sit here, while my gums are throbbing with horrendous pain, as I wait to see the doctor tomorrow. *curls up into a little balls and cries*

I've been watching ALOT of The OC recently, though I don't tend to follow the storylines that much. It's all "random fight here", "lesbian kiss there" bullshit. I just like to perve on Ben. I'm also buiding up my muscle a bit which is good. I now have a six-pack, and very proud to show it off.

I hope it'll rain soon. I love rain. I love sitting inside, and watching the raindrops race eachother down the window sill. I love the feeling of being warm and dry, snuggled up in my favorite chair, reading a good book. When it rains, you'll rarely find me on the computer, or watching TV. I find rainy days the best time to relax, and get away from the world. If it's night time, I'll turn the lights off, and light candles around the room. Burn some incence (Sandalwood's my favorite), and draw random sketch upon sketch until my creativity streak has run dry. I hope it rains later today.

In other news, I would like to state that Big Brother is even better than before. The reason being? Dean and the Logan twins. Never have I been looking forward so much to BB Uncut, which unfortunately, doesn't start for another week... dammit. And those showers were SO made for my viewing pleasure! For more info on why Australia's Big Brother series kicks ass over any other country's, click HERE !

Hmmm... oh yeah, and Anton (my sexy boyfriend who makes me so happy) is taking me shopping, for an engagement ring, on Saturday. Yeah, even thought it's gay marriage isn't legal in Australia, he proposed to me anyway... on a date, infront of many people... and I was so emotionally happy I cried..!

Ciao xoxox

BB5

2005-05-10T09:29:00.000+10:00

It's been 2 days since Big Brother 5 premiered on Australian television, and I'm already addicted to it. I find myself registered on the website, watching Live Video streaming of the house. I stay up 'til 11:45pm to watch Big Brother Uplate, just to see what the housemates are up to at some ungodly hour. I've always liked the idea of the game show. To put 12-14 people in a house, like guinea pigs, and film their each and every move 24/7 - whilst a godlike man named Big Brother, who this year seems to be an absolute cunt, orders them around like slaves, making them perform tasks in order to get food and luxuries. Ontop of all this, each contestant is striving to play the game, and survive the longest, in order to win $1,000,000. Bloody marvelous.

Anton came to visit me last night, but unfortunately, because of my illness, sex was not part of the scenario. It kinda sucked, because we both got really horny, but the pain in my gums was too overwhelming, and if anything were to have happened, it wouldn't have been that enjoyable. Damn. Overall though, the night was a roaring success, once again. I have some good news to share, but not right at this moment. I will say that it has something to do with taking our relationship s step further - that's most likely got your curiousity going eh?

Songs of da mo:
"Ware House", by Jon Doe ~ a hard, driving track from the Hard Trance genre. Perfect "hands-in-the-air" melody, backed by an infectious bassline.

Ciao, xoxox

Short

2005-05-09T10:26:00.000+10:00

Nothing much happening. I'm slowly watching the drama based around my Boyfriend's blog, going to the dentists later *CRINGES*, and partying as usual. Oh, and then there's work, but it's not really worth mentioning eh?

Someone say something interesting. I've notcied a decline in blog comments, and it makes me sad. Not really. But, um... yeah...

Ciao, xoxox

One week... of fads!

2005-05-06T09:13:00.000+10:00

Tough Question of the Week: If you had the choice, yes or no, of picking ANY car in the world, with the only catch being that the radio would ONLY play "One Week" by the Barenaked Ladies on repeat FOREVER, would you take it?

Kabbalah - I've read up a little on it, borrowed books from the library and such, and I see understand it's theories. But would I have heard of it if it wasn't so hyped up in the media? Probably not. Maybe a slight chance, because I'm constantly browsing the New Age section in bookstores, but it wouldn't have been thrown in my face so frequently. The same this happened awhile ago, though not to the same extent, with the Church of Scientology. Celebrities joining the religious-fad bandwagon, and flaunting their faith infront of the press, so it gains worldwide recognition. Wicca had taken a giant leap backwards in tradition, because movies and "certain tv shows" have hyped up the more appealing factors of spells and magic. Bookstores are crammed with cheaply produced spellbooks describing how to get someone to fall in love with you, and how to welcome more money into your lives. Religion and spirituality is a private and personal thing. I've firmly felt that it's not only un-necessary, but downright rude to attempt to "convert" a person from one faith to another. Now it's being advertised to millions through the celebrity-obsessed media. Don't people have any fucking morals nowadays?

I've noticed how juice bars have been sprouting up, like mushrooms after rain, allover Australia. Another fad? Quite possibly, yes, bad this one ain't such a bad thing. These juice bars, under such guises as "Boost Jooce" and the marvelously named "Julius Squeezer", are rivaling the big brand coffee houses that are also dominating the consumer market. In Melbourne, there's a Starbucks, Gloria Jean's or Hudsons coffee shop on every second corner. Personally, I'd take an orange, pinapple and carrot juice rather than a Vanilla flavoured coffee anyday. What's your choice? To put it bluntly, are you a caffiene freak, or a health nut?

Song of da Mo: "Canned Heat" - Jamiroquai

Quote of da Mo: "Where's the ka-boom? There was supposed to be an earth-shattering ka-boom!" - Marvin Martian

Ciao, xoxox

Words

2005-05-05T09:35:00.000+10:00

Smoke curls up in hypnotic waves against a canvas of pitch black sky, ocasionally broken by small clusters of stars, and clouds, lost amidst their sloth-like journeys around this great big ball of solid dirt we call Earth.

I'm still in "The Land of Woeful Illness" - and it's not helped by the fact I have to go in for dental surgery tomorrow. I REALLY shouldn't of watched Final Destination 2 last night.

"<---Hot! Who agrees?

Ciao, xoxox

Sick

2005-05-03T14:41:00.000+10:00

I'm so terribubly sick, and I'm loathing work at this moment.
Nuff Said.
Ciao,
XOXOX

Interesting thoughts...

2005-04-29T09:14:00.000+10:00

I've always thought of my life being quite "drama-filled", but as from last night, I realise that my days on this lonely planet haven't got as many plot twists as other people's. Other people meaning my neighbours.Take "Mr and Mrs X". Happily married, with 2 children. The perfect nuclear family. Mr X works offshore in the oil business, while Mrs X takes care of the children. Quite often, Mr X will get together with the guy who lives on the other side of them, who shall be known as "Mr Y". Yesterday evening, I watch as Mr X leaves for his next week long shift out on the oil rig. His wife and children wave as he drives off, and then they go back inside the house. Normality at it's finest, or so I thought. Later on, I'm outside, looking for the cat. I look over the fence, and there's Faith, my mischievious little grey ball of fur, taking a dump in my neighbours vegie patch. So I jump the fence and go to retrieve the naughty thing. As I creep past the kitchen window, I glance in, and stop. Through the kitchen, I can see the lounge room, and sitting in the lounge room is Mrs X, happily "entertaining" MR. Y! I quickly grab my cat, and jump back into my yard. I think about Mr X, and how he has no idea what his wife is doing when he's working, and I feel somewhat sad that he's being betrayed. I put it out of my mind, because I don't want to get involved in my neighbours personal lives. Thismorning, however, I'm walking down to the corner store, when I pass Mr Y, standing in his front yard with HIS WIFE. Imagine that, 2 of my married neighbours are having an affair with eachother, and no-one knows the wiser, except for me that is. Should I say something, or should I just let it be? I have Melrose Place, right here in my neighbourhood.

There's an advertisement for TicTac's doing it's rounds on TV at the moment. For those of you who don't know what a TicTac is, they're these TINY little capsule shaped mints, about the size of an aspirin. Anyhoo, on the ad's, a woman (with an unusually large forehead) is talking about how they taste great and how they only have one calorie, before she eats one. Just one. Now, I know that the world is obsessed with weight, and diets and whatnot, but really. Are there really people out there who are gonna worry about how many calories are in a single mint? And is an extra calorie or 2 worse than having bad breath? I think not.

I was at a friend's place thismorning, to give them a CD that I'd burnt for them. I couldn't stay for long, but I really had to use the bathroom, and since I couldn't wait 'til I got to my destination (over 20 minutes away), I asked if I could use theirs. I walked in, shut the door, and turned to face the notorious "bidet". Now, I've seen these in showrooms and such, but had no real knowledge of how they functioned. So, after doing my business, I gave it a go. I must say, NEVER have I been so shocked before. Having a stream of water shoot directly up and hit your asshole is an incredibly odd feeling, especially when you're not expecting it. WHY do some people feel the need to have these in their bathrooms? I mean, sure, they have their up-sides - aka, you leave the bathroom feeling TOTALLY clean down there, but the initial shock of their function has been enough to scare me from ever using one ever again. So I guess I can add that to my list of weird phobias. Bidets.

Ahhhh, Fridays. Marvelous Fridays. A time to unwind, and think about not having to work tomorrow. Friday night is alotted to "sitting on my ass and doing fuck all" time. I rarely go out socializing, because I'm so tired. It's just a good night to relax, and work on my art, poetry, or that horror novel that I keep putting on hold. Have a good day people,

Ciao, xoxox

Another day...

2005-04-28T09:09:00.000+10:00

I'm intrigued at how some people think it's weird that, when I go clubbing in the city, I don't go to the gay clubs. To put it bluntly, the gay clubs here don't appeal to me in the slightest. They're sleazy, and the music is shocking, and they all rekk of overall tackiness. Why would I want to trade my classy, feel-good superclubs that actually play GOOD dance music without a trace of cheese, for something that's only going to dissapoint?

Songs on my playlist this week are:
"Warehouse" - Jon Doe
"Girl" - Destiny's Child
"Sleeptalk" - ATFC (Junior Jack Club Mix)
"Let Me Love You" - Mario
"Banda Sonora" - Guitarra G (G Club Mix)
"1, 2, Step" - Ciara
"Love Will Set You Free" - Starchaser
"Hollaback Girl" - Gwen Stefani
"Change" - Phats and Small (A Small Phat One)
"Star2Fall" - Cabin Crew
"Find" - Ridgewalkers (Andy Moor Mix)
"Vega" - Paul Van Dyk (Staircase Mix)
"The World Doesn't Know" - Tilt
"Baby Gets High" - Le Smoove Club (Chili Hi-Fly 12" Mix)
"Do It To Me Again" - Soulsearcher

I hate Thursdays more than any other day. I start to think about the weekend, and look forward to what I have planned. Then reality hits me and I realise that I have another day and a half to wait. So I wait, and suddenly the time starts to pass by SO much slower.

Anton came round last night, and we had a movie night. We watched "The Sweetest Thing" and drank home-made Cosmopolitans (how marvelously gay), made some sweet lovin', and then went out to visit some friends who were having a gathering. The so called "gathering" turned out to be a wild time celebrated by atLEAST 50 people, thus I ended up completely off-my-face, and now I can't remember how I got home, let alone what I did or said for half of the night. Damn.

Ciao, xoxox

laughs

2005-04-27T04:26:00.000+10:00

I found my first grey pubic hair today.... in a kebab.
Nah, just kidding...
I do, however, remember the time where I first visited the local noodle bar. The only reason I went there was because they served the food in those funky little oriental boxes. I remember grasping the last mouthful awkwardly with my chopsticks, only to reveal a large clump of black hair in the bottom of the box. After throwing the biggest technicolor yawn I'd ever achieved, I marched back to the noodle bar and demanded to see the manager about my "discovery", who humorously stated that "it couldn't have come from anyone who works here". It was at that point that one of the cooks came out of the kitchen, scratching their head, which evidentally, was covered in thick black hair....

I read in the Sunday paper, that a teenager got stuck in a bin (yes, a bin) whilst trying to reach his mobile phone. Apparently, the fire brigade had to cut him out with a power saw. Apparently, the guy first stuck his head in (what, was he trying to pick it up in his mouth?), and then when he realised he wasn't going to succeed, he then proceeded to stick his arm in aswell, without removing his head, until both body parts became wedged in there. Would've been fucking hilarious to see...

I have the "Painting the Roses Red" song, from Alice in Wonderland, stuck in my head. *cries with frustration*
Ciao, xoxox

Lost Imagination

2005-04-23T11:22:00.000+10:00

I sit here and drink my coffee, made with no sugar, and barely any milk. I'm not trying to beat the fatigue that is sweeping over me as my fingertips lightly hit the keyboard. I'm just trying to enjoy the natural taste of coffee, without any sweetener for once. Slinky: Trans-Atlantic is playing softly in the background, sending ripples of energy through my bones as the breakdown of hard trance is slowly coming to an end, building into an enormous crescendo before slamming down the bass-filled thumping that I enjoy so much. What to write, what to write...

Before my flat burned down, along with everything that was in it, I used to draw. Not anything in particular, just whatever came to mind at the time. I used to sit on my cramped little balcony, and look over the building tops towards the horizon for inspiration. I had hundreds upon hundreds of sketches, all filed away in my closet. Canvas's adorned my walls, including a very special one I painted in Year 10, of a multi-colored sunset over a blackened mountain. It would've been one of the first things to go up in smoke. Ever since my neighbours decided to invite me to their "complimentary shared bonfire", my creativity has vanished. No matter where I am, no matter what state of mind I'm in, I can never seem to grasp that artistic imagination I once had, and it saddens me alot.

Ciao, xoxox

Dreaming

2005-04-22T10:48:00.000+10:00

It has come to my attention over the last two years, how some electronica is becoming repetetive, and re-worked to appeal to a more general market. More so, certain DJ's and producers are slapping vocals on top of good quality instrumental tracks to make them sell better. Example? Take "Jambe Myth" by Starchaser. A massive house/trance hybrid that worked dance floors well worldwide. A few months later, they've slapped some cheap vocal over the top of it, and suddenly it's playing on commercial radio, over and over again until I'm sick of it. Then we had "Mighty Miami", by Spiller, a genuinely good 70's inspired house track. A few months later, it's re-born as "Groovejet (If This Ain't Love)", with some Brit-Pop waif wailing over the top of it. It hits number one on the charts, and I throw it in the bin. Does this piss me off? Does fucking someone feel good?

I have absolutely nothing to do today. No work, No meetings, No plans whatsoever. Ultimately, if I could be doing anything today, I would be shopping. In Melbourne. With a bottomless credit card, of which I'd never have to pay back. What would I buy? A lime green chaise lounge, with contrasting zebra print cushions. A black pin-stripe suit. A RED Mercedes SLK Convertible, with a white and chrome interior. Geez, I could go on forever. I'd buy the entire Hed Kandi CD collection, and a good sound surround system with huge sub-woofers to play them on. I'd buy first class airfares to the USA, Europe and most definetly HONDURAS. Ah, dreaming can always be good.

Day 2 of my "No Nicotine Plan" went miserably, considering I smoked atleast 8 ciggies before noon. Damn me and my non-existent willpower.

Ciao, xoxox

Mr Right Vs No Nicotine

2005-04-21T09:14:00.000+10:00

"Instead of looking for Mr Right, look for Mr Right Now, and eventully, if he proves worthy enough, that 'Right Now' part will just drop away" - a quote taken from my favorite film, "The Sweetest Thing".Maybe we should be living by this statement more often. Are we searching for love too early? Are we looking to experience fast love, expecting that every person we date will hopefully merge into something more. I look back on some of my past relationships, and think seriously about them. Would I have possibly felt more relaxed, and enjoyed those times more if I hadn't focused on the future so much, and just made good of the present? Have I been looking for 'Mr Right' too soon? Maybe I have... Maybe that's why I feel lonely alot of the time - because I hold onto too many expectations of what my 'perfect' boyfriend would be, and thus, never find it.

I tried to survive without nicotine last night, and let me tell you something - it was sheer-fucking-hell. At first, I was taking the "wait for 5 minutes 'til the craving passes" approach, which surprisingly did well for about two hours. Approaching midnight though, I was in bad shape. I had the option of going to sleep, but I chose to make a coffee instead. Bad move. Before I knew it, I was out on the back patio, cigarette in one hand, lighter in the other. I tried waiting another 5 minutes, yet the craving didn't pass. I lit it, and took three puffs before I put it out. Now I feel dissapointed with myself, because I know that if I hadn't of broken my "fast", I would've had a greater chance of suceeding through today. Unfortunately, I lit up first thing thismorning from force of habit. This is gonna be harder than I thought.Any advice would be helpful, on either topic.

Ciao, xoxox

Average Night No.1

2005-04-20T09:01:00.000+10:00

My night was one of the usualy ones again.
After downing 6 Vodka and Orange UDL's, I head to a friends place, making a slight detour on the way so that I could roll myself a nice big scoob. I like smoking pot after having a few drinks. It puts me in a more intellectual mood, and I'm more likely to speak my mind about certain things. Anyway, I get to my friend's house, and they're watching this movie called The Forgotten, which was quite boring. After it finished, my friends invited me back to bed, in which, for like the first time ever, I turned them down. I wasn't in the mood for a 3-some. What IS the world comming to? Maybe I'm just tired of it all. As they say in "The Sweetest Thing", maybe I'm just "tired of the game"... or maybe it was because I was pretty stoned by that point, and all I could think about was sleep.

Luv Ya'll
AL xoxox

More New-ness

2005-04-18T13:17:00.000+10:00

This is my new blog. It replaced the old blog, because the old blog was dark and eerie. I myself, am NOT dark and eerie. Nor am I depressed. I'm fucking happy for once. Orange reflects this happiness, and also somewhat makes me thristy, and crave orange juice... with a little splash of vodka added. Cheers guys!
Love AL xoxox

The Wonderful World of AL

Ack - too warm.

After a long break...

Yes, well... Um...

I'm Back!

...

w T f ?

argh

11

Fake Endings...

Optimism

Good Days

Tele-Harrassment

Labels

Ramblings in Color

The Pre-Planned Bender

Flava of the Month

Mmm, warm...

Over It!

Issues.

but Seriously...

Thinking Ahead

Monday's & Music

*stumbles around*

Fri-daze...

"A Good Night Out" - Part One

*intermission*

!~*~!~*~! Ummm !~*~!~*~!

Doh!

Random Thoughts #618

Fun Times

So Much For a Chillout...

Lazy Dayz...

Flushed Out

My New Fad

Rebound

Downfall

Ramblings #3

JB in Bed

Violence again?

Something, Untitled

Deathliness & Loneliness

:'-(

Party Pooper

back

Pointless

Wild Nights

apocalyptically over-tired

Chilled & Warm

Raindrops in Wonderland

Questions, Questions...

High, somewhat...

...

Another LONG day...

Trip Report - Finally

Brrrrr

.

Some People *rolls eyes*

Weird...

Another Dreadful Season

Bitching and Whining

My Complicated Life

Me Time

Changes... Again

Happy Happy Joy Joy

Extended Day Trip

Angry again

Random Thoughts #2

Singing a song about weed.

Meh

Different

Noise, Juice & Pop

No Nicotine - Attempt #2

Random Stuff #1

Drugs, Raves, and Possibly more Drugs

:-)

BB5

Short

One week... of fads!

Words

stumbles around

intermission

!~~!~~! Ummm !~~!~~!

Some People rolls eyes

laughs