Tuesday, September 27, 2005
...
Very busy.
Will Blog tomorrow.
Soz for the wait.
AL
xoxox
AL rambled on at 2:00 PM - -
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Friday, September 16, 2005
w T f ?
*written under the chilled influences of Mr Green Jeans*
Dear AL,
Guess what? You're fucked and writing a letter to yourself! I forget how much I've had to drink, and smoke, combined, but it doesn't matter because I can't be fucked explaining it! I'm happy, because I'm stoned... but anyway... I feel like listening to the pounding sound of deep trance music at a hugely insane volume, preferably in a nightclub that's lit in nothing but red and orange, like a deep cavern inside a volcano, with the dancefloor re-created as Hell - the only difference being that THIS Hell wouldn't be a place of... what the fuck am I on about? Do I give a shit? No. Fuck I ramble on when I smoke the green. It's boring here. And early. Way earlier than I originally thought. I have cravings. Cravings for Cheetos... mmmmmm, Cheetos.
AL rambled on at 11:15 AM - -
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Monday, September 12, 2005
argh
Gone is the warm weather everyone associates with the Spring Season. It's fucking cold, my hands are going grey... more to the point, they're going numb, and my happiness has been vapourized by the typhoon-ish like winds that threaten to destroy any plans I had of throwing a barbeque this evening.
I went out to the local nightclub on Saturday. It was... well, I don't really remember. I can recall me taking on a dare to pick up some chick, and succeeding right up to the point where she asked me back to her place, to which I told her that, because she had boobs and a vagina, I wouldn't sleep with her, and thus she rewarded me with a slap in the face insisting that "I led her on", despite the fact that EVERYONE knows I'm gay. Ontop of that, I got a phone call the next day from the mate I went out with, claiming that he'd just gotten back from the hospital because he got "attacked" by 7 people after he went ballistic when they called him a faggot. Why can't people just take constructive criticism on a positive note? My mate's been in denial about his sexuality for the last, ooh, entirety of his life. I told him "dude, you admit to people when you're drunk that you like it up the ass - deal with the aftermath and stop complaining to me", to which he hung up. God some people are demanding.
AL rambled on at 4:49 PM - -
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Sunday, September 11, 2005
11
To this day, I still cannot find the words to describe exactly how I felt emotionally when I sat, glued to the television for 10 hours straight, on September 11, 2001. 4 years on, Australian "free-to-air" television airs a no-more-than-3-minute news report about rememberance services, before switching back to the cricket coverage. I don't forget it because I can't. Today I flew the American flag outside my house as a tribute.
AL rambled on at 10:59 PM - -
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Thursday, September 08, 2005
Fake Endings...
Over the past 2 years, I've had numerous Blogs. Mostly filled with bitchiness, random ramblings, the highs and the lows. The templates have constantly changed to suit my mood, and although I'm happy with the way the page LOOKS now, I've grown exceedingly bored with it, and have decided to put and end to it. I'd like to thank everyone who has been supportive, and left loving, friendly, and sometimes weird and wacky comments to what I've written. Hopefully we'll all catch up soon...
... or I could be just bullshittin' ya'll, which I most definetly am.
Whilst browsing randomly through the millions upon millions of sites on the contraption that people call the World Wide Web, I came across some construction photo's of the new Superman rollercoaster they're building at WB Movie World on the Gold Coast, Australia. Do my eyes decieve me, or is this country finally getting a thrill ride it deserves? Will AL finally have a reason to head up north now? All signs point to yes...
Catch!
xoxox
AL rambled on at 2:02 PM - -
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Wednesday, September 07, 2005
Optimism
Last weekend, one of my mates stupidly let Jehovah's Witnesses into my flat because he was stoned and didn't know what he was doing... I love the predicaments my mates put me in sometimes.
It's warm. Sun is out. I have "It's My Life" by No Doubt playing on stereo within my head. I feel optimistic, and happy. I've just been to an appointment with my shrink, and since leaving, I've felt ontop of the world. I've realised that there are some things in this world that are just not worth bothering about anymore. I've put so much time and energy into trying to fix relationships with people I disagree with, when I should be focusing more on what is TO come, rather than what is in the past. Today, my past died. Every. Single. Shred of it. If it's somebody's aim out there to bring me down, to hurt or upset me, or to make me feel less worthy of a person, then they can go screw themselves, literally. Why I chose to stay attached to people with such ugly qualities is beyond me.
Being in an exceptional mood has also prompted me to post a pic of the hottest man in tennis, Andy Roddick.
Catchya!
xoxox
AL rambled on at 10:49 AM - -
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Monday, September 05, 2005
Good Days
If quitter's never win, and winner's never quit, who the fuck came up with the saying "Quit While You're Ahead"?
I got completely trashed on Saturday, and woke up with absolutely NO hangover on Sunday morning. I always know I'm gonna have a good day when that happens, and yesterday I was right. I think today will be a good day too.
I just have that feeling...
AL rambled on at 12:47 PM - -
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Saturday, September 03, 2005
Tele-Harrassment
Last night I recieved 4 phone calls from telemarketers in the space of ONE HOUR. Now, the last time I checked, my landline phone number was silent, so I'm curious as to HOW these companies are able to get my number, and then feel the need to invade my privacy with a bombardment of almost harrassing survey calls. I wouldn't be complaining so much if the operators were nice, and accepted the fact that I don't want to switch phone rental companies, or buy a new vaccuum cleaner - but they're not. Recently, I recieved a call from a poverty-aid charity (which will remain un-named). I told them that I was already a member of World Vision and I've been sponsoring a child for the last 2 years, and they start giving me a lecture pretty much, on how my money could be better spent with them. Naturally, I hung up, but not before giving them an earful of my frustration and anger.
On a more calmer topic, I'm starting up a dream journal. NOT an online one - a written one, to record all my wacky and insane dreams that I keep having. Most people keep dream journals to record dream patterns, and try to determine whether they mean anything or not. My dreams couldn't mean much. Last night I dreamt of driving a HumV along the railroad tracks, and crashing into a cactus, which inevitably came to life and started chasing me waving a knife in the air. I'm keeping the journal purely for entertainment, so that when I'm old and suffering from amnesia due to all the drugs I took when I was younger, I'll have a book full of twisted sub-concious memories that I can show all my friends, before they commit me into a mental institution.
And to top this entry off, I'd like to re-driect you to Dajoro's blog, for THIS interesting little news item. I'm sure you'll all find it very pathetic...
That aside, my heart goes out to all that have lost loved ones in the Hurricane Katrina aftermath. I'll be donating $100 today through the Red Cross.
AL rambled on at 11:09 AM - -
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Friday, September 02, 2005
Labels
Last night me and B were involved... in a conversation that is. We talked about our experiences when it comes to meeting other gay guys, and what sort of personalities we get along with best...
I am YET to meet somebody I "click" with. I'm finding it slightly frustrating, searching for someone who isn't Kylie or Madonna's biggest fan. Someone who'd prefer a beer and a game of pool, over frequenting the gay club scene ritualistically every goddamn weekend. Someone who sits on the very edge of the gay cliche - someone who's outrageous and fun, but acts like a man, not a character from Sex and the City...
I'm starting to find myself becoming more and more reserved when I meet people. Instead of being my true self, I find myself trying to fit in the with flamboyancy that constantly surrounds me.
Alot of people say that I'm "straight acting", but I hardly see how people can put one another in categories defined by sexual orientation. I mean, there are millions upon millions of heterosexual guys out there - each with their own unique character traits and personalities - so to put all of them in ONE social group because they all share a taste in women is extremely ignorant of someone's true character. In MY opinion, there is no such thing as straight OR gay acting - there's only individuality. Yeah, some people do share similar characteristics, but they're maintained by each person's individual sense of style and being.
I'm sexually attracted to men, yet because I'm not shouting it out to the world every time I'm around people, I'm labelled as "straight acting". Sexuality is a personal thing to me. I'm not acting like I'm not gay - I'm acting like myself.
AL rambled on at 2:53 PM - -
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